[Maria84]

Hi

I'm Maria, 27, been married to my husband for a little less than 3 years and have a two year old daughter.

Three days ago I came home from work a few hours earlier than usual, and when I came back I saw my younger sisters car in our parking. When I entered the house I saw my sister & husbands cloth on the floor and as well heard their weird voices from the bedroom. I left and came back a few hours later and they both were gone and everything was just the way I left the house back in the morning.

I just dont know how this could happen. I could imagine my husband cheating on me (as everyone could), but with my own SISTER? That's just unbelievable. I can't understand how my sister could do such a thing to me.

Im completely confused. I'm angry at both of them. I dont know what to do, I dont know for how long they've been doing that, or even is my husband sleeping with anyone else as well? should I tell them that I know about their thing? I just cant forget it even for a second. please I need some advice.

I have a twin brother, and we're very close & he always helped me with everything. I haven't told him anything yet, do you thing it's a wise thing to tell him?

Please, need some advice.
Thanks in advance
(sorry for bad English, I'm not a native)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Maria,

Welcome to the Forum...

This is difficult because no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do, what they can say is what they would do if they were in the same situation...

I'm sorry, you had to walk in on this, clothes on the floor does mean he was cheating, as you heard them

Your sister has no respect, you could tell all of your family and she would be dissed.. If I was you, I would talk to her privately, ask how long it's been going on for, why she did this to you, then make that decision, including your twin brother..

With your husband, that's down right wrong.... Blood is thicker than water, what he did was break a bond between family.. You've been married for 3 have a 2 year old I imagine, that you accidently got pregnant and got married? That doesn't excuse an affair but it may say how much love is there or not between you...

Ask yourself has he disrespected you in the past? Do you love him? Has he shown genuine love to you at all?

How do you feel about him?

You do need to talk with your sister, I'm not excusing her, but blood is blood, talk it out..

[newmel]

blood is blood are you serious i would make her bleed never ever ever could you forgive that betrayle it willnever be ok and you can never forget

[newmel]

ps just because you love someone dosnt mean you can forgive it just meams you have wastedyour love on a fraud !! it hurts to be cheated on and everyone can say this and that about love and if you love them it can all be better i dont agree and am in the process of trying to forgive and keep thinking that if he trully loved me he wouldnt have cheate.d... how do i stop thinkig about it i would love to move on but seriously how is that possibly ???? we can pretend but why..

[jns]

A lot of times younger sisters want what older sisters have. This happens with brothers, too. They go about seducing their older sibling's SO. Since there is a lot of contact, sometimes sparks start. Has there been no indication that things were going on? Did your sister seem extra sweet on your husband? Or was she living a long distance away and only came for family gatherings? Your husband is not blameless, he should have known it was forbidden, but maybe he could have been reminded before things got going too much. Did he seem too sweet on her?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As jns pointed out, it's important to find the reason why your sister did this.. Yes newmel, it takes two, but I stick by blood is blood, if she laughs when confronted, and doesn't care, certainly, I would cut her out of my life... But, people in this world needs facts before they act..

I'm sorry for what you've been through as well, people cheat for alot of reasons, it doesn't mean every time it's because a person isn't loved, it could be they weren't ready to settle down, were tempted, were seduced, there was no emotional attachment left in a marriage, no love, it became friendship, alot of reasons...

Some marriages, can be saved, no you won't forget ever, but you may forgive if you know the real answer.. And, some can't because the other person really didn't care and will do it again...

We can't use our own personal experience as the answer, because we are all different... Hense, why I said, to the OP, speak to the sister, and ask herself alot of questions about the man she married, and how she also feels about him, in reality...before confronting him...

It can't do harm, she at this stage, has no answers, 1 fact, and therefore, there can be no closure irrespective for her until she does...

Remember, not everyone is evil, some people make mistakes, or are tempted to the extreme, and make a mistake... It may have been a once off.

It's important for the OP to know exactly why and where it is at, irrespective...

CW

[Ashlee T.]

I'd have to confront the issue with both of them, let them know 100% that I was aware of what had happened. See their reactions...then determine your next step. This is even double the pain because not only has your husband cheated but he cheated with someone you love. You've been betrayed by two people that were supposed to love and honor you. I agree that blood is thicker than water..... but in this case, I think I'd say throw the blood out, throw the water out....and enjoy a glass of wine instead. Family or not, husband or not, I'm quite certain that anyone that would betray you in this way is not worthy of being in your life.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Maria, we hope you are ok...

It would be good if you would come back and let us know how you are...

I did state that if it was calculated, then agreed, blood is not thicker than water..

I do know from reading these threads over the past 3 years, sometimes, a sister is nieve, young, and seduced, wants what her older sister has, believes that it's love, all the promises in the world are given, and they bite the Adams apple for it....

That's why I have suggested you speak with her ..

It most definately is the worst kind of cheating anyone could do to anyone and we do feel for you, please let us know how you are.

[simplyshonda]

I hope it is not too late to get a reply, seeing as this is a post from over a year ago!!!!

[Ashlee T.]

Shonda - you have quite a story. I'd highly recommend starting your own thread as this one is quite old and many may not see your post.