[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can't believe people just suggested "happy pills" so he wouldn't care.

justadudeguy... I can't believe you thought that the suggestion was so that he wouldn't care....

If you re-read the OP, it's evident that he's traumatised by thoughts of cheating when there is clearly no evidence, rather, he works alot, and she has a few friends, namely 1 boby builder younger being his main concern and he has written here to gain help, on how to calm down over these thoughts.. 1) That does not define happy pills, so that he doesn't care, rather, decreasing the anxiety level as it's not good for anyone to suffer huge anxiety and 2) I'm seriously worried about you, to believe that a person has to be cheating if you have that in your sub-conscious that she is and to go to the extreme that your suggesting, tends to make me think that you don't trust women, full stop and will do anything to catch them out, that says alot for what you percieve trust to be in a relationship...which is one if not the most important key to success and is a bit stalkish...

OP, love does silly things, you worry about losing the person you love. Your travelling alot, she's with younger people, it's called FEAR, and in that in-security.

You have to get a grip on the in-security.. Know your worth, the love you both have and put all your energy into feeling safe, feeling strong and happy.

Everytime you feel in-secure and get frightened, therefore anxcious, tell yourself " she's my lady and I trust her"...

Concentrate... ensure you keep the relationship alive, fun, sexy, happy... Do you text her little messages, just because? Not hi babe, but something sweet, cute, funny, if not start doing it. Put a spring in that walk, in that voice, that smile because you can't lose someone if they are happy...

CW

[tmac001]

Great Advice

I guess I never thought about it like that. Very good points. I am so darn competitive at times that I almost view it that I never want anyone to get anything past me. I really do trust her deep down, but my insecurities get the best of me. I constantly battle myself. I have no valid reasons to have these thoughts.

I need to be a better man and focus on what you said about her being my wife, and I will trust her. I am making myself miserable for no reason. Creating drama where it doesn't exist.

I do spoil the heck out of her all of the time both emotionally and with material things. I think I sometimes go a bit overboard to her as she is not as romantic as I am. I send her texts, emails, leave notes for her to find when I'm gone.

Again, I appreciate everyone's input.

justadudeguy... I can't believe you thought that the suggestion was so that he wouldn't care....

If you re-read the OP, it's evident that he's traumatised by thoughts of cheating when there is clearly no evidence, rather, he works alot, and she has a few friends, namely 1 boby builder younger being his main concern and he has written here to gain help, on how to calm down over these thoughts.. 1) That does not define happy pills, so that he doesn't care, rather, decreasing the anxiety level as it's not good for anyone to suffer huge anxiety and 2) I'm seriously worried about you, to believe that a person has to be cheating if you have that in your sub-conscious that she is and to go to the extreme that your suggesting, tends to make me think that you don't trust women, full stop and will do anything to catch them out, that says alot for what you percieve trust to be in a relationship...which is one if not the most important key to success and is a bit stalkish...

OP, love does silly things, you worry about losing the person you love. Your travelling alot, she's with younger people, it's called FEAR, and in that in-security.

You have to get a grip on the in-security.. Know your worth, the love you both have and put all your energy into feeling safe, feeling strong and happy.

Everytime you feel in-secure and get frightened, therefore anxcious, tell yourself " she's my lady and I trust her"...

Concentrate... ensure you keep the relationship alive, fun, sexy, happy... Do you text her little messages, just because? Not hi babe, but something sweet, cute, funny, if not start doing it. Put a spring in that walk, in that voice, that smile because you can't lose someone if they are happy...

CW

[lizzardb63]

I wasn't just suggesting "happy pills". I've been on antidepressants for 10 years and depression and anxiety is a real thing. I only brought that up because if its internally (in the mind) it might be more than someone can control on their own. I had really bad anxiety and had the same thoughts, but being on a medication helped me a lot. I don't recommend drugs just becaused I think its a fix. It MAY help, but it was just a suggestion to talk to a doctor about it and get their opinion.