[Ashlee T.]

Ditto to what WC said.

Now what? Cut your ties, plan for your future without him, and let yourself begin the healing process. You will not even start to heal as long as you're letting him play you like a puppet. He's proved himself. And then he's proved himself again. You cannot trust him. It's time to move forward.

[stressed]

You only see the true personality of a person under very stressful and difficult situations. It took your husband many years to reach a point where he had to show what kind of man he was. He is too mentally weak to deal with something as horrible as a car crash and both of you losing your jobs, so he stopped making an effort and he just let it all out. He gave in to addiction, cheating, porn, and now he's obsessed by a fantasy, because he feels safe and comfortable in it. Fantasies have no responsibilities, they make you forget.

Be glad you have no children with him, it would have been much worse then. I don't see anything else you can or should do other than go on with the divorce. He won't listen in the state he's in, his weaknesses have consumed him. You're too young to try to save him from this disaster and you don't have to go downhill with him. You've done all you could, you kept a clear head, you gave him all the reasonable choices, it's not up to you to save this anymore.