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  • crazymum
    Junior Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 3

    dont know what i want

    I new here but i need to get this out and work out what to do
    for a while now i have not been attracted to my hubby in any way I love him just not in a that way anymore it's more like we are good friends, as it is im surprised that we had our last child as sex fells more like a obligation then anything else.
    earlier this year i found him closing the web page down on the computer every time i walked into the room so one day i checked the browser history and found that he has been sending messages on a chat site to local and non local women he had asked one for a pic with a bit more skin even tough see was in her bra and undies already and other things as well and too this day he claims it was his nephew using his account but the times and days didn't match up to when his nephew had computer time and i also checked his account and his spelling was different and so were the type of girl he was chatting too
    and then just a few months back i was woken in the middle of the night to hubbies phone going off it was a msg from some girl telling him she's off to bed and if he want to come over the she has left the gate open, when i comforted him he said he didnt know who it was so i rang her and she hung up on my and wont return my calls
    for most of the year i tried to forget it all as i have been injured and need to get better but for the last month now i just cant take it any more and have been going to counseling on my own as he didnt think we needed counselling but he has came once to my app but didnt help much now i need to be able to be sexually intimate with someone but not my hubby.
    we have 4 kids only 2 are with him and he is not the most helpfull hubby in the world but i dont want to kick him out as he love the kids and they need him too i want to have an open marriage but dont know how to tell him thats what i want or if it can work
    has anyone been through the same thing and if so what has worked for you?
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Your SO may be open to an open marriage, but the underlying relationship between the two of you probably won't stand such a situation. How old is the youngest child and how seldom did you have sex after having that child?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • crazymum
      Junior Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 3

      our youngest has just turned 2 we have only had sex every few months since before i fell pregnant

      Comment

      • crazymum
        Junior Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 3

        i just told my husband that i want an open marriage he just said that he hasn't cheated on me but i know he has chatted to other women but this time he did not deny it nor did he confess ether
        I told him that i am wanting to be the other me without restrictions he is not happy i do understand but i haven't been happy for a very long time now and it is hard as i have always had more then one side of me not multiple personality's but just not one style i like being a mum and a wife but i also like being flirty, a party animal, dressing up, bondage, hippy even a little dark sometimes and im a little bi courias but i have never admitted that bit till now, but he is happy being a home body playing game systems all day

        Comment

        • whit4488
          Senior Member
          • Jun 2009
          • 138

          if your not in love, and he's unfaithful...sticking together for the sake of the children isnt a happy ending. i would leave now, no sense in wasting your time away, you have this one life, live it with someone who will love you unconditionally, you and your children. he's out there, have faith

          Comment

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