[Love555]

TBC

So he tells me he was thinking of divorcing me for 2 mths and I ask him why. He says I am no longer attracted to you. I say: " wow I must be very ugly". He says no , its not physilcal. He says he is not sure why he wants to divorce me. He also says that female is engaged to be married and nothing ever has happened between them and he just needed a friend.

From what I googled about this is called emotional infidelity. For mths this person has been going out with someone that is not me. I am so hurt by this.

Anyway, I told him what he did and got books on it, he actually decided on his own to read one of them.

After claiming to read it, he says he did wrong, but he never cheated cause he never slept with that person. He says I never slept with her, nothing physical.

I don't know why, but I thing emotional infidelity is worse then physical.

I am rambling, I am sure, but the truth is he wants to work it out and I have no trust anymore. I even went ahead and scheduled a shrink appointment for my own sanity, which I am on a waiting list for as I need evening hours.

He on the other hand doesn't believe in shrinks or counselling.

ANyway, I'm being brief as I am rly upset and I can't think about anything else.

Pls. Help!

[Love555]

Hello all!

I am new to this site as I just like the rest of you thought my marriage was perfect until one day.

I am looking for some support and to see where exactly I failed.

My husband and I have been together for about 11 years. We have been married for 10. Last year he got deployed after which he came back and got RIFed ( reduction in force) from a high position in a company. He has been looking for work, but it seems very tough with this economy. I have been very supportive to him and was there all the way. During our whole 10 year marriage I have been always supportive and faithful. I stood by him when things were bad and good. All of my family is in another country so I really don't have anyone near me, but I still survived the year of deployement.

So he comes back from deployement and I could sence that the man is down. SO i try to be extra caring and involved. He starts telling me that his ex=coworkers are inviting him to go out and such and he feels it will bring his spirit up. What do I do? I am supportive and encouraging. He says it would be inappropriate to bring me along as there are no women invited and it's all work related stuff. So I say it's fine, I am happy that people still find him useful. I truly was happy that he had ex coworkers reach out to him. So this goes on for about 2 mths.

I know what you thinking now. Are you blind???? And what can I say.... I always trusted him, so why would I interfere when he is trying to network with people.

ANyway, one day cell phone bill comes. I look at it, while my husband says he is visiting a friend 4 hours away from us, cause he has also lost his job after deployement. Guess what I see? The same number about 10 calls a day and 20+ texts per day. SO I call the number....it's a female

He races home after I tell him of my discovery. Tells me he has been thinking about divorce for about 2 mths. That this female is his ex coworker that he was talking to about how ****ty he feels about his thoughts.

To be continued as I am too upset to say more atm

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Its the fear of being alone and not attracting another mate!

AMEN.

[Livelaughlove]

Its simple!

GlitterAndStuds
....... If a person is so unfulfilled with someone, why don't they just break up with them and start over with someone who COULD make them happy?

I've always wondered the same thing.

Its the fear of being alone and not attracting another mate!

Live laugh and love

-Carismo

[Fallen1]

....... If a person is so unfulfilled with someone, why don't they just break up with them and start over with someone who COULD make them happy? ..........

I've always wondered the same thing.

[GlitterAndStuds]

This is kind of irrelevant, but I just found it necessary to vent about the concept of cheating. It's something that I will never fully understand. I think someone else has said it in this thread, but if it's going to happen I'd just prefer the person to leave than be cheated on. If a person is so unfulfilled with someone, why don't they just break up with them and start over with someone who COULD make them happy? Then again, there's always the idea of still having someone at home waiting for you when you come back from having your fun with someone else. I guess that's why they call it "cheating".

I have to admit, I've been guilty of it once. Just once. It's pretty stupid because I'd been with the guy for 3 weeks or something, and he was one of those guys where that was his limit. And I just knew it was over anyway, and I ended up sleeping with an ex. He never knew about it. But my god, that guilt was incredible, even given all the stuff about knowing the relationship was done. And 3 weeks! I've had Mentos that have lasted longer. Still, how someone can cheat and think it's okay, not feel horrible at all....that's the part I'll never get.

Okay, rant over

[sue]

this might be true, but a spouse should b able to access

[WildChild]

Some people do password everything just in case something is lost or stolen.

[sue]

those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. one does not need password protection if they have nothing to hide.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't feel too bad, most men are complete idiots... like the guy who left his cell phone on vibrate to advertise that something was up.

Better yet, check if your man has his cell phone password protected and set to silent mode... ladies, I guarantee you there is something going on.

"Most"... probably not Baja, "some".. just like "some" women are hungry only for what a man earns, as apposed to whom he is...

I have to say I can't agree either with your last statement because then the women are "snooping" on a man.

That's invading "someone's privacy"...

I commend you however, for standing up for women, if i was to guess, you have several female friends that have been burnt.

It's funny how what happens in our lives/friends lives is how we view things in general.

Welcome to the Forum by the way.

CW