[CHANDLERS WISH]

He used to yell and argue with me for every little thing that went wrong

Secondly, maybe it seems pathetic of me to say this but as far as taking some anger out on me it is something we all do at times (directing your anger in the wrong place) I didnt mean for it to seem like abuse....

Maybe you are in-deed contradicting yourself

At times, all the times are two different things....

You are going to have to really look deeper here inside.....because if it was really all the time, money is money, helping financially is different than emotions, so if he strayed you have to ask if you both are really happy......

A cheater will cheat if un-happy ...and will again for the same reason if he/she got away with it.

A man in love will not cheat, no matter what the temptation in my opinion because he has no need to, the bread is buttered perfectly at home.

CW

[karenkaren]

IF he really wants the contacting to stop, he can take action, it's called filing a stalking report with the local police, to get her to stop or she will face the legal consequences of her ongoing actions. That's a big IF.... I had to do it to an ex that just wouldn't stop bugging me. It bothered the woman I love so....snap! I filed the report! Funny how the harassment ended almost immediately.

I agree with WC in that ANY man that WANTS to be committed to one woman in a loving relationship, will be....period. No excuses, No exceptions, No enticements!!

This life is nothing but a series of choices.....make GOOD ones!

The contact stopped completely after the second time he told her and there hasnt been any more concern. Seeker_Advice....I am finding you most helpful....Is there a point at which I need to stop focusing so much on this mistake and stop talking about it all day? This happened in the beginning of Feb....over a month....Is that too long for me to be so fixated on the topic since weve talked it thru and I believe he is truly sorry?

Im sorry to all for sending out "pieces" of info at a time...pls understand that I am very confused and have severe anxiety on any regular day without a problem like this.

[stressed]

Is there a point at which I need to stop focusing so much on this mistake and stop talking about it all day? This happened in the beginning of Feb....over a month....Is that too long for me to be so fixated on the topic since weve talked it thru and I believe he is truly sorry?

Only you know where or if such point exists. One month to forgive cheating is too soon, on average, but you may be too forgiving, too scared of losing him, you may not want to ruin the 'perfect picture' of your relationship, don't want your children to be without their father... it's all up to you.

Cheating is not a mistake, it's an act led by will, not an urge. Maybe it was a "mistake" to cheat on you, because you'd have all reason to want to leave him afterwards, but he didn't think you were a good reason enough 'not' to do it in the first place.

If you can trust him again, if you know and understand why he did it (and I am talking about his true reasons, not the fact he is a man, because that's not a reason for cheating as women cheat as well), if you're afraid of ending up alone... then you can forget about it tomorrow.