[lost_horse123]

Ok this is an odd question but here it goes...
Me and my Fiancee have been together for 5 years and in the beginning we both never had a problem with going "down" on each other..but for the last year I have still been doing my "part" but he is not so much..in-fact I cant remember the last time he went "down" on me during sex. I just want to know how do I tell him or show him I like it when he does this. I'm a very shy person ( talking about it even bothers me) so im not sure how to show him or tell him how i feel..

Thanks Girls

[pretzel]

This may be a weird way, but have you ever told your fiance a secret that you didn't want anyone else to know about?

Wisper it into his ear in a secretitive manner. You may be a little more comfortable that way.

[Guest]

Wait! You're naked, with the man you love, engaged to be married and you can't talk to him about how much pleasure you get from receiving cunnilingus...really? I find that to be amazing...and I'm not trying to belittle you or offend you in any way.

This is the man that you have committed your life to and you can't talk about the greatest gift you give to each other? Interesting.

Is there anything else you can't talk about? Finances? Children? Number of children? Alcohol consumption? Religion? In-laws? Retirement? Frequency of sex once married? Employment expectations?

Are there things that he can't/won't talk to you about?

If I were you, I'd make sure that you can talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING before you get married. It's just my opinion...

Open, honest communication is one of the main building blocks to a solid long term relationship (IMO).

[lost_horse123]

thanks

Wait! You're naked, with the man you love, engaged to be married and you can't talk to him about how much pleasure you get from receiving cunnilingus...really? I find that to be amazing...and I'm not trying to belittle you or offend you in any way.

This is the man that you have committed your life to and you can't talk about the greatest gift you give to each other? Interesting.

Is there anything else you can't talk about? Finances? Children? Number of children? Alcohol consumption? Religion? In-laws? Retirement? Frequency of sex once married? Employment expectations?

Are there things that he can't/won't talk to you about?

If I were you, I'd make sure that you can talk about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING before you get married. It's just my opinion...

Open, honest communication is one of the main building blocks to a solid long term relationship (IMO).

Thanks for your comments...to be 100% honest I have always been very open about talking about sex with him till this last year..Just a couple months ago we got done having sex ( not oral) and i did not go...I asked him to help me finsh off and he said " Im tiered i need to get up early" and another time blamed me for wanting sex to late at night...that has nothing to do with him not giveing oral but as you can see this is why im not feeling good talking about it with him and want to know what should i say or do to make him relive that he is not satisfying me....

another thing he is going throw alot right now with ( family death ) and work...so maybe i should not be conserend with this and stop being selfish..i dont know im kinda lost lol

Thanks Girls!

[pretzel]

lost, for the record, both Seeker_Advice and myself are men.

Be that as it may, what you just mentioned to me has nothing to do with him not wanting to please you. Having to get up early for work, the stresses of work are things people go through every day. Unless it's 3 a.m. and he has to be up at 6 then maybe once in a while that would fly but being tired or stressed should interfere in a couple's interpersonal relationships.

Ok, a death in the family is one thing especially if it was a sudden, unexpected death. I'll agree to a point that backing off on this won't hurt but not to a point where it's backburnered.

[lost_horse123]

lost, for the record, both Seeker_Advice and myself are men.

Be that as it may, what you just mentioned to me has nothing to do with him not wanting to please you. Having to get up early for work, the stresses of work are things people go through every day. Unless it's 3 a.m. and he has to be up at 6 then maybe once in a while that would fly but being tired or stressed should interfere in a couple's interpersonal relationships.

Ok, a death in the family is one thing especially if it was a sudden, unexpected death. I'll agree to a point that backing off on this won't hurt but not to a point where it's backburnered.

Thanks!
Ok well no its not 3am lol more like latest 10pm or 11pm...No one in the family has died but his dad has asl ( doc said he has max 5 yrs) god help him. anyways when i try to have sex during the day ( whem he is home) he says "not now i got alot of my mind i just need to not think"..most of the time that he has off he is playing games on the c/p and never wants to open up to me about sex or anything elts ( thats another story ) i understand were he is coming from and at first was ok with only him getting off during oral or sex but its been awhile now and i still dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt him but at the same time we are still having sex..to all "his" needs so i dont see why he cant please me.

Thanks Guys!!!

[lost_horse123]

sorry not asl als

[karenkaren]

First off, I know exactly how it is to be shy about certain topics at one time and then be able to be completely open about it another time. Its strange but I am like that too sometimes lol

I wouldnt let this worry you....stress affects us all so differently and no matter what it is our bodies still have needs. And because of that he's just being a little lazy and just wants a quick release. In any case tho, he wont know if its a problem for you unless you say so. I kinda agree with Pretzel about whispering it in his ear like a secret. But if it were me, I would simply go buy some body candy. If youre too shy to show him then just hide it under his pillow or somewhere he will find it quick lol When he does find it then it will be quite obvious what it is you want.
I dont think youre being selfish at all...if anyone is its him, right? And youre happiness is equally important.

[pretzel]

Thanks!
Ok well no its not 3am lol more like latest 10pm or 11pm...No one in the family has died but his dad has asl ( doc said he has max 5 yrs) god help him. anyways when i try to have sex during the day ( whem he is home) he says "not now i got alot of my mind i just need to not think"..most of the time that he has off he is playing games on the c/p and never wants to open up to me about sex or anything elts ( thats another story ) i understand were he is coming from and at first was ok with only him getting off during oral or sex but its been awhile now and i still dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt him but at the same time we are still having sex..to all "his" needs so i dont see why he cant please me.

Thanks Guys!!!

thanks,

given this, I'm totally in agreement with my friend Seeker that it's time for you to speak up and do it now. It seems he isn't willing to be open with you about what's on his mind and why he isn't willing to share. He's becoming selfish and you're allowing it.

[ladylook]

thanks,

given this, I'm totally in agreement with my friend Seeker that it's time for you to speak up and do it now. It seems he isn't willing to be open with you about what's on his mind and why he isn't willing to share. He's becoming selfish and you're allowing it.

A lot of relationships can take this turn - It's up to you what happens now, communication is the only way.