[gatitia]

My husband and I have been married for little over a year And he has never gone down on me. However I always go down on him and he never complains. We had a conversation about this once and he said he maybe will. ( Im not sure what that's suppose to mean) I found out later he had a friend that went down on some random girl and got an STD. So he never wanted to do it. I told him that the situation had nothing to do with him and that were married plus we don't have any STD's so im like what's the deal? I was going to let it go but I just don't get it. I wanted to know what other people think and if I should press the issue or just leave it alone?

[Guest]

You've discussed it with him so I'd let it go for a while. If he doesn't reciprocate in the near future, I'd have another conversation with him about it and remind him how important it is to you.

There is a very good book, that I have recommended several times in this forum to others, listed in the Books on Sex thread started by WildChild.

Perhaps he is reluctant due to lack of knowledge and/or experience.

Good luck!

[rcoreyus]

I think you need to understand why he doesn't want to do this - disease certainly isn't an issue. I think oral sex is a reasonable thing to expect in a marriage (for both), and if you are missing something that is important to you, it will tend to make you unhappy and resentful.

[jns]

Some guys just don't get how much fun it is going down on a girl. Find out if he likes how you are trimmed down there. Does he like playing with your pubic area? Does he get you to orgasm manually or by intercourse?

[kristalyn_04]

That is unfortunate that he doesn't care to pleasure you orally... I can relate. This would be easier to say if you weren't already married, but if he has a problem with giving you oral now, it is unlikely to change. The only thing I can say is, try to have calm discussion with him about it, not being critical of him in any way or making him feel bad, just bring it up in a non-accusatory manner. Let him know how important it is to you, why you like it, and how it makes you feel. Another approach would be to tell him that him giving you oral will make you want him more, and will make you want to give him more pleasure and fulfill his desires. One other thing, and I'm not a fan of this but as a last resort, you can withhold BJ's from him until he's willing to reciprocate. But of course oral sex is much better from someone who actually wants to do it and is enthusiastic about pleasuring you, but if all else fails you can try it and see if you get results.

[kira]

I don't think it's fair to say oral should be a requirement without giving it more thought when there are cases of one person highly disliking the other's taste or smell down there. Personally with all the goo there I'd find going down on a woman as disgusting as rimming without a dental dam. Even on a guy I'll only do it soon after they've taken a shower or there's that stale sweat taste and smell. My husband has also had past partners with BV or poor hygiene that made him hesistant until he found I keep things more trimmed and clean. Even though he likes doing oral I've noticed he still won't do it if I haven't shaved recently. You might want to take such things in to account and try to get a better idea why he hasn't done it. Then see if you can work out a way to improve it. Maybe you need to trim more, use dental dams to block the taste, apply something tastier to the area, or just ask right after a shower. There are lots of things he may not have thought of or didn't feel comfortable bringing up. Avoidance is easier than discussing something potentially sensitive like saying you don't like your partner's taste.

[kristalyn_04]

This is just my opinion, but I don't see how anyone could find anybody's arousal juices disgusting. For a man, the natural smell and taste of the woman he loves is an aphrodisiac and a source of pleasure and excitement for him (or at least it should be). As long as she has good hygiene and there are no infections going on, there shouldn't be an issue. If anybody finds anything about their partner's genitals gross, then they are the one with the problem.

[jns]

This is just my opinion, but I don't see how anyone could find anybody's arousal juices disgusting. For a man, the natural smell and taste of the woman he loves is an aphrodisiac and a source of pleasure and excitement for him (or at least it should be). As long as she has good hygiene and there are no infections going on, there shouldn't be an issue. If anybody finds anything about their partner's genitals gross, then they are the one with the problem.

KL, are you sure you aren't practicing on women, haha. It is not only the smell and taste, but the way she moves, her musculature, the coloration of her genitals and butt, the folds of her skin, any bumps, even any stretch marks that all enhance the visuals along with the touch sensations as your tongue explores her. The smooth areas, the bumpy areas, the puffy areas, the indentations, the wrinkles. The only sense that is not fully engaged is the sense of sound. Beyond that is finding out how to push her buttons to get her to peaks she hasn't got to before. Myself, I am perfectly fine with hair down there also, as it can enhance the visuals. I just don't get why guys don't dive in especially when invited.

[kristalyn_04]

KL, are you sure you aren't practicing on women, haha.

LOL, I'll admit I am a little bi-curious. I'm straight, but open-mindedly so... I don't find anything about women disgusting, so I'm pretty much with you guys on this subject.

[Guest]

If anyone has a problem with their partner's fluids, that's a YOU problem and not a THEM problem.

And if you do, have a problem, can I assume that you don't kiss, drink form each other's cup, ever share food, etc.?