[CHANDLERS WISH]

Honey, people that have control will find their way to make you need...want...

Don't you dare think that you are the bad person, you are the victim of manipulation..

Get the strenth behind you.......

[Lili]

Honey, people that have control will find their way to make you need...want...

Don't you dare think that you are the bad person, you are the victim of manipulation..

Get the strenth behind you.......

+1

I agree.

[Melephant]

well actually, that whole thing about his bloody ex and all that stringing me along.. it took two years and i finally moved past it, this morning it all got brought up again. he forgot the password for his email and the alternate email address was HERS. really wound up. want to scream but my daughter's here. i'm done with him, i've had enough.
he's upset -or making out like he is- and can't understand why i started shaking when i saw her name, especially when he said it'd sent an email to her.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

How can someone's ex cause so much hassle??

[Melephant]

and seriously does nobody think i'm to blame here, even a little bit? i'm not to blame for him smacking me, i get that, but i am an adult and i should have some self-control. not just cos i slept with him last night but also cos i get myself soooo worked up about stuff that happened before we're even together.. right now we're on a break and i felt like smashing the place up cos of that whole email thing, that's surely unreasonable? the second anyone mentions that a man has hit a woman people jump on the man and make excuses for the woman like she's done nothing wrong. hitting a woman is wrong, yes, and he should be punished but remember i hit him back and i don't think i'm going too far by saying i've ruined his life.

i'm not making excuses for him, he disgusts me, but i should be punished too, i'm just as much the one in the wrong, aren't i?

[Ashlee T.]

i'm not making excuses for him, he disgusts me, but i should be punished too, i'm just as much the one in the wrong, aren't i?

What does it matter who is to blame and to what extent they are to blame? There are two sides to every story, and I don't think anyone here would claim you're perfect and have done NOTHING wrong. Assigning blame isn't the point here..... being unhappy is.

You are two people who do not belong together, who are making each other miserable by staying together. You may both be good people, but you are not good together and that's quite obvious.

Do you have issues with self control and anger? Yes...most definitely. Does he have anger/control issues? Absolutely.

This isn't about assigning blame, or punishing. It's about putting yourself in a situation in which you are HAPPY and therefore, so can your daughter be. Do not fool yourself into thinking she won't pick up on this. Do you really want her to believe this is what love is about?

You know what you need to do.

[Melephant]

BD i completely agree, my daughter is the most important thing on the entire planet to me and i'll make sure she grows up knowing what's right and wrong. she'd what i'm considering most in this situation, but it's hard cos me and C we have our problems, but doesn't everyone? we're not like this all the time, 90% of the time at least we're absolutely fantastic together. we make eachother cry laughing, until he hit me again we were the envy of other couples cos we were still so close after all that time and even after having a baby.. trouble is, when we do argue it seems like the end of the world.