CB - I can't blame you for trying to work it out. I do, however, take a difference stance on cheating than some here. I am of the mind that there is never an excuse. If a spouse is neglecting another spouses needs to some extent, it is not a reason to cheat and it doesn't make me feel in the least sorry for that person. I feel like as adults who have agreed to love each other and be faithful to one another forever, all efforts should be made and if it doesn't work, leave, don't cheat. Someone who is cheated on shouldn't have to also then carry the burden of "I caused him to do it". No you didn't.
My opinion is your husband knew your personality, your strengths and weaknesses before marriage. I'm much like you it sounds. I'm consistent in both my strengths and weaknesses. What you see is what you get. If somewhere down the line, he decided that what you have to offer in your most natural state of being is not enough, he should've first discussed it with you seriously, and then if later down the line still found himself unfulfilled and unhappy, he should've left before he cheated. Children act out to get attention. I do not believe that an adult should be given that excuse.
Aside from that, I don't believe your husband did what he did because he feels neglected. I think he's young and has found himself in a marriage, reality, and at times wishes he could just go out and pick up chicks, have random sex etc. You turned your back and he took the opportunity to pursue that.
Point is, no beating yourself up. Marriage does indeed take work and compromise. But never blame yourself for being cheated on. There is simply no excuse for it.
My opinion is your husband knew your personality, your strengths and weaknesses before marriage. I'm much like you it sounds. I'm consistent in both my strengths and weaknesses. What you see is what you get. If somewhere down the line, he decided that what you have to offer in your most natural state of being is not enough, he should've first discussed it with you seriously, and then if later down the line still found himself unfulfilled and unhappy, he should've left before he cheated. Children act out to get attention. I do not believe that an adult should be given that excuse.
Aside from that, I don't believe your husband did what he did because he feels neglected. I think he's young and has found himself in a marriage, reality, and at times wishes he could just go out and pick up chicks, have random sex etc. You turned your back and he took the opportunity to pursue that.
Point is, no beating yourself up. Marriage does indeed take work and compromise. But never blame yourself for being cheated on. There is simply no excuse for it.
But, in doing so, he has to give alot back too now as well, go on the same path you two....
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