[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's funny that you say the "real" Chaya because not being yourself is not being real.

On another note, if he lets you go once, will he let you go again, and, will you continue to miss it and start going into the direction you believe you should be in un-knowingly..

We live only once in this World as the person / human being. I maintain therefore, we should live it to the full, as ourselves, with our beliefs, morals, and allow people to enter it, that belong and understand "us" as that person, and accept us as that person.

[jns]

Soto Zen monks and nuns are not required to shave their head, but some still do. I was looking in the mirror trying to visualize how I would look with my head shaved. I also wonder if my husband would even sleep with me if I shaved it. Not to worry, I like my hair and have been encouraging it to grow longer.

I think a bald headed woman can be very sexy: think of Persis Khambatta in the Star Trek movie.

[chaya]

It would be easier if my head was shaved. I have long hair and it would be out of place at sesshin. I'm going out to look for a ponytail wrap or glove that would not be too conspicuous. It will have to be something I can do myself without help.

My father called me, he is delighted I'm going to sesshin. He paid for my outfits, they had to get them in Navy blue, no black or brown in my size. They should be here Tuesday with FedEx.

[Ashlee T.]

I've said it before and I"ll say it again. You place FAR too much emphasis on the difference of religion between you and your husband. You knew it when you met him, when you fell in love, when you got married. And if you choose to allow it to create such a great distance between you in your marriage with him, I simply have to question your true devotion to him. Perhaps it does seem you are doing all the compromising, but I expect that is not the case. In the events in which you choose to speak up, tell him what you want, I expect he's more than willing to accomodate. If you do not speak up, you cannot expect him to read your mind.

However it is that we were created, we were indeed ALL created in the same flesh. The distances, differences of "religion", differences in culture, they are all man made. If your faith is truly strong, truly devoted, then you must believe that. And you must know that the distance between one human and another, is created by human, but it not what is natural to our true being.

I believe you are using this as a way to feel distant from him. As a way to feel "misunderstood". But really, it is all created by you. And I hope this retreat allows you to see these things.

[chaya]

I've said it before and I"ll say it again. You place FAR too much emphasis on the difference of religion between you and your husband. You knew it when you met him, when you fell in love, when you got married. And if you choose to allow it to create such a great distance between you in your marriage with him, I simply have to question your true devotion to him. Perhaps it does seem you are doing all the compromising, but I expect that is not the case. In the events in which you choose to speak up, tell him what you want, I expect he's more than willing to accomodate. If you do not speak up, you cannot expect him to read your mind.

However it is that we were created, we were indeed ALL created in the same flesh. The distances, differences of "religion", differences in culture, they are all man made. If your faith is truly strong, truly devoted, then you must believe that. And you must know that the distance between one human and another, is created by human, but it not what is natural to our true being.

I believe you are using this as a way to feel distant from him. As a way to feel "misunderstood". But really, it is all created by you. And I hope this retreat allows you to see these things.

I do not expect my husband to understand me or any other non-Buddhist to understand me.

When I met and fell in love with my husband I had been living a non-Buddhist life for over 2 years. Now I realize I cannot continue to live a non-Buddhist life.