[sbeth8705]

I've read several threads on the problem of husbands watching porn...but my situation might be a tiny bit different. You see, before my husband and I got married we had a very active sex life (yeah, I know it was wrong and all that). However, pretty much immediately after we got married it dropped to maybe once every two weeks...if I was lucky. Then I noticed on our cable bill (which he had been hiding from me) that there were several porn movies purchased, and after we got the internet i noticed some of the disgusting sites he continuously went to in the history. I'm not one of those overbearing wives that won't let him do what he wants to do, but its like he is choosing it over me! One night he woke me up when he was getting home from work and going to bed, and when I couldn't sleep I got online and saw he had been searching those sites even right after he got home when he never EVER has time for me when he gets home. I've confronted him twice prior to this and told him how deeply it hurt me. Both times he said he wouldn't do it anymore...and he still went back to it. Anyways, I know I'm blabbing but I can't exactly talk to anyone I know about this, and I'm just wondering...what should I do?

[housewife]

Continue advising him to stop,
if he doesn't

then let him choose between
one: being with you and porn free
two: being with porn and alone.
I wouldn't bear this life.

[steph*]

I agree with housewife you should keep telling him that it hurts you that he cant go to you and he goes to those porn sites! he's going to stop if he really cares about you dont worry

[cupid]

Something similar.....

My husband is out of town and found some weird porn.....transgender porn. Men having sex with women (with a penis) THIS IS REALLY WEIRD....is he gay? The file was under "shemale"

I DON'T WANT TO BLIND MYSELF

[Guest]

not necesarily.

porn is designed to lead its consumers to crave harder, more extreme & bizarre material over time.

[HURTANDUNHAPPY]

We just got the internet yesterday my husband and I. He left this morning to help his father out with a few things and I spyed and saw that he was looking at PORN!! Im so unhappy and I just dont understand why he did it.....I asked him about it and he lied and said he didnt....What should I do this is the second time and I cant take it, it really hurts!! The thing that hurts the most is that he lied all about it!!! He said he would never do anything like this...Hes not the guy I wanted to marry or be with anymore but i still love him and it makes me sick

[Guest]

a few thoughts:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/husband-fiance/3998-fixing-porn-addiction.html

your reaction is normal & OK - and his behavior is normal & not OK.

what would you like to see happen?

[ordun'girl]

am not sure y the issue of porn really bother a lot of ladies, i think it is guy thing. i got to watch my first porn when i started dating my fiance. the only impression i got from him was he wanted sex.but there was a time i got tired of seeing it though it is not that he shows it to me all time. but when i complained he reduced it, then wen i stopped complaining,he stopped entirely. now,anytime i talk about his porn films, he just try to end the issue and tell me that he doesn't want me to watch it. am satisfied with that. i don't want to give myself unnecessary headache. my advice is that, don't nag him about it and don't dwell on it. you know guys can be really strong headed. tell him u want to watch it with him and see his reaction....i watched it with my fiance and he got tired of it. it may work for you too.

[Gia]

Was Hurt No More!

We just got the internet yesterday my husband and I. He left this morning to help his father out with a few things and I spyed and saw that he was looking at PORN!! Im so unhappy and I just dont understand why he did it.....I asked him about it and he lied and said he didnt....What should I do this is the second time and I cant take it, it really hurts!! The thing that hurts the most is that he lied all about it!!! He said he would never do anything like this...Hes not the guy I wanted to marry or be with anymore but i still love him and it makes me sick

Sorry you are feeling hurt. My soon to be ex-husband hurt me for over 10 years using the PORN (I feel I wasted a great deal of time focusing on him and his Porn addiction). His Porn use made me feel "less of a woman" it made me emotionally distraught the way he constantly compared me to the Porn stars (you know,the woman AKA the attention *****s!) and Drag Queens infested with AIDS and Herpes that our husbands enjoy mastrubaing to! rather than making love to us wives.) Why would a husband pre meditatively hurt us wives like that?) After endless hours...wasted time of confronting him about his Porn addiction and asking him to STOP, his constant lying, manipulating, misconstruing, attending group therapy with Ph.D Psychologists who didn't help, they were just in it for the money, writing their books and the "power trip" etc...forced me to focus on my life and my children's lives. Since he was not going to change and since I was enabling him by focusing on his porn addiction... I was becoming a co dependent, I decided I needed to change!!! I decided to FOCUS on my children and myself and NOT him! I went back to college to finish my Ph.D. (should be completed in one year, I'm writing my Dissertation). I became less available for him, I was either in the laboratory doing my research, teaching undergraduate classes at the University, spending a great deal of time with my children and at PTA meetings or at the health club working out. I finally gained back my "self esteem",( he took the self esteem away from me using PORN!). I began dating and having sex with other men. My husband's Porn addiction...Well, he cut me off from sex for over two years! (never again will I allow myself to become emotionally attached to a man.) and to "Top It Off", I finally filed for a divorce!

Find something that you are passionate about, pursue it so that it will make you happy and so that you can "build your self esteem". Please don't allow yourself to "get lost and be unhappy" with his porn addiction, (this is his problem and NOT yours.) His Porn addiction will destroy any self confidence you have. Focus on yourself, your goals, find a hobby you enjoy, focus on your children! Find Peace within yourself! G-D Bless!

[Kaylaface]

am not sure y the issue of porn really bother a lot of ladies, i think it is guy thing. i got to watch my first porn when i started dating my fiance. the only impression i got from him was he wanted sex.but there was a time i got tired of seeing it though it is not that he shows it to me all time. but when i complained he reduced it, then wen i stopped complaining,he stopped entirely. now,anytime i talk about his porn films, he just try to end the issue and tell me that he doesn't want me to watch it. am satisfied with that. i don't want to give myself unnecessary headache. my advice is that, don't nag him about it and don't dwell on it. you know guys can be really strong headed. tell him u want to watch it with him and see his reaction....i watched it with my fiance and he got tired of it. it may work for you too.

I've tried this and it's doesn't work. It just makes him try to involve it even more. At least thats what's happening with me.