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Husband looking at porn on my work computer...

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  • Husband looking at porn on my work computer...

    Hi-

    I caught my husband looking at porn on my work computer. He did this in the past and he said he would stop. That computer ended up crashing due to viruses (go figure) so my work sent me a new one. Needless to say he it started up again. He would clear the history to try and fake me out. I caught on to this. I also allow my 6 yo daughter to play her kid video games on this computer and he knows this. Finally I installed a "watchdog" on the internet that blocks all pornography. It worked great but he must be looking at porn in his office now.
    He never asks me for sex instead I believe he is addicted to porn. It is much easier for "him to do it himself" because there is no emotional connection. At this point whenever he makes some type of sexual innuendo about "us" I almost feel sick.
    I feel I am an attractive women and am told so by others, except my husband. So, I am celibate. I am keeping my legs shut. He is cheating on me after all with all the porno chicks out in cyberspace. Eventually he will decide that he wants me again and that is going to suck. Isn't that terrible? Feeling like you don't want to have sex with your husband? Being a celibate married woman and being ok with that. AGGH! this is not what I was expecting out of marriage. I have kids so I'll just be the best mother I can be and lock up my hooty.

  • Good thing you got the porn off of the company computer. Even if it is in your home, you could possibly get fired.

    Has your sex life with him always been like this?

    Celibacy is OK as long as both parties agree. If not, it can cause a lot of conflict.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • My husband enjoys porn a lot to, and one night after he told me he was to tired to have sex with me I caught him whacking it. I flat out told him I wanted a divorce, because I cannot mentally, nor physically, handle coming second to girls he will never see. That I needed to be more important to him than porn. I told him if I'm at work and I won't be home until after you've gone to bed, then sure watch porn. Or if we can watch it together and do something together then that's fine to. But do not turn me down and then go watch some other girl, that is just not acceptable! He flipped his switch the next day when I told him how it made me feel and that I knew that body wise I'd never be able to compare to those girls.

      Comment


      • I honestly don't think I could be married to a man who watches any type of porn, it would make me sick to my stomache! If he knows how you feel about the porn issue and is still doing it, that should say something!

        Comment


        • I think its one thing watching porn, and another thing if it interferes with your sex life and is on your computer.

          Most guys have looked at porn at some point in their lives, if not every guy (but I shouldn`t completely generalize), the problem comes when it starts interfering with your relationship or its in a place where your children could see.

          For my relationship, him and I have actually watched porn together -- although we did end up spending most of it laughing. But again, there is a time and a place for it.

          Comment


          • Watching porn when you're single is one thing, but why still do it when you're married? Some people do consider that as cheating.

            Comment


            • Some use porn as a form of turn on. Lots of couples even watch porn together.

              One simple question: Those who consider watching porn cheating, do they consider reading a dirty book cheating as well? Or a guy simply thinking and masturbating cheating as well?

              I still stick with if it harms your life --- quit it. But if its not affecting your relationship, do it within reason. (and if it does hurt the other person, you need to quit it).

              Comment


              • I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. You're so right about pornography being an addiction - and there are more couples than you can imagine who are struggling with this. It can be very challenging to overcome, but something tells me that you would like to have a more fulfilling relationship with your husband. Have you confronted him with your thoughts about this being an addiction? If you can do it in a way that isn't too judgmental, you might be surprised to find that he's ready to get help and willing to work through this - chances are, he doesn't want to be caught up in this addiction either. It sounds like you care about keeping your marriage together for your kids' sake, and I want to encourage you in that. You didn't say anything about your faith or whether or not you believe in God, but I just wanted to share an (edit) and (edit) from a Christian website that offer some great advice. Hope it helps. Stay strong and believe in the best for your family Hugs to you.
                Last edited by Fallen1; 11-01-2011, 01:55 PM. Reason: Remove outbound linking

                Comment


                • That he watches porn is one thing - that he uses your work computer to do it is another!! I would find that extremely disrespectful, as somebody already pointed out in this thread; that could have gotten you fired! I would be furious if somebody messed with my livelihood like that!
                  I would suggest sitting down with him and having a serious talk about this, and if nothing changes I would suggest you seek couples counseling together. When it has gone so far that you would rather be celibate than have sex with your husband, your relationship is in serious danger.

                  Comment


                  • for me, it's normal...I can see my fiancee watching porn and I don't react at all coz he can't touch them or anything near that but what matters to me if he will be dating somebody else or so...and that is cheating. watching naked bodies is normal for men... because they are men!

                    Comment


                    • Basically porn is to guys as trashy romance novels are to girls. Both can turn someone on, one is with visual one is with imagination.

                      Comment

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