[lizzardb63]

$9000 would be an extremely conservative wedding... at least around here it would be. Some places even require an $8000 minimum for food alone....no worries we DID NOT go with them, lol.

[caterpillar79]

Rosekitten, thank you for not taking offense on what I said. I appreciate your opinion and you do point out good points. I myself cannot imagine spending that much. Yet again, it's case to case.

Liz, I like what KMonte suggested. Maybe make really make your itemized list and try to cross out things that you can get by without and/or down-size or get a bargain from other businesses. What I am also thinking is to ask some guests (the ones who are close to you to understand(, to give you gifts that may help make your wedding reception an unforgettable one (as planned or close to your original plan.

[lizzardb63]

I know I am going to be conservative with the invites and I think I will make the programs myself. Decorations for the church and hall I am making myself and as I stated I am looking into my cousin to make my cake. I am trying to take steps to find ways to save, but in the end I will still owe a good chunk of money.

Some of my relatives have been asking if I want a wedding shower/registry, etc...and I am thinking of maybe a coin shower. I have been to them before and basically people give you money, rather than items to go towards the wedding. One of his family members asked if I wanted gifts or money, and right now the money would REALLY help. Anything would help really.

[caterpillar79]

I don't know how it's called here (maybe that's the coin shower you're talking about), but in my culture, there is a part in the reception/program when the couple would dance and the guests would pin money (in this case $ bills) on them as they dance from music to music.

Is that what it is?

[KMonte85]

They call that a dollar dance by us, cat

Lizz, have you talked to the people where your dinner/reception will be about their economic options for the dinner/reception? I understand if you're stuck being there (although most places you have until 90 days or so before the wedding to back out), but there are things you can do to save if you are contractually obligated to stay there.

Explain your situation, see what they have to offer, and make sure you don't do an open bar. And go over you guest list with a fine toothed comb. The less guests you have, the more money you'll save. Don't think you'll make more money with more guests in gifts, because that's not true. You'll end up spending much more than the combined value of your guests' gifts.

As for decorations for the church, skip them. Nobody cares if you have decorations there anyway. You, your groom, and the wedding party ARE the decorations. Your guests won't even notice if you have decorated the aisle or the alter, because they're chatting before the ceremony with each other, too focused on you during the ceremony, and only care to get out after. You may not save much, but even if you save $100 on supplies from not decorating the church, well that's $100 less you have to stress about.

[lizzardb63]

That's true KMonte. Perhaps I don't have to decorate the church. A coin shower is in place of the wedding shower (Where you register at a couple stores for certain items and they can choose stuff of the registry for your wedding gifts) and instead give you a gift of money rather than items. This would be a couple months before the wedding.