[rosekitten]

I would suggest that you go talk to JAG. They will be able to help you the most as far as paperwork goes, and they will be able to contact the appropriate people in his chain-of-command, if needed. I'm sorry that you are going though this. *hugs*

[JadedQueen]

How long have you and your husband been married? What branch of the service is he in?
Things are a little bit different when divorcing someone in the military. My ex-husband is military and his job in the military had him away 256 days a year (not all at once). We were in agreement about the divorce and did the "do-it-yourself" where we filled out all the paperwork and discussed what we didn't agree upon, worked it out and took the papers to an attorney that basically typed them up and filed them for us, since it was uncontested and the attorney filed it in a different county we weren't required to appear in court, once our paperwork was filed 90 days later our divorce was final. I highly doubt your situation will be that easy and believe it or not, I didn't think mine would either. I told my ex that I wanted a divorce and I was saving money to move out.... he went through the stages... begged me to stay, agreed to do anything and everything if I would stay (which i knew from past experience it was empty promises), got angry, made things more difficult than they had to be cuz he was mad etc....It will be difficult at first but you will get through it. If he creates problems for you remind him that the military seriously frowns on adultry and he can be court martialed for the things he has done (even if he never physically cheated... the evidence you have found would be enough to court martial him in the military) That hanging over his head (depending on how much he values hi military career) should be enough to keep him at the very least civil towards you while the divorce processes. Also, the military is very adamant that the sponsor takes care of his dependents even if divorce proceedings are ongoing.... he has to support you and his children throughout the proceedings until the divorce is finalized and from then it's whatever the courts stipulate (as far as child/spousal support etc...) If you have been married for longer than 10 yrs. of his military career you can get awarded a portion of his retirement pay (when or if he retires from the military) The military is the ONLY organization that considers retirement community property as long as you meet the qualifications (10+ years while he was enlisted) Another thing to consider.... with the world the way it is these days and the situation overseas... military members have life insurance through the military... in my divorce paperwork I stipulated that he had to name our son as beneficiary for a percentage of his life insurance in the event that he died before our son turned 18 yrs (or 21 if he was in school) and he could name anyone he wanted to be the executor. My ex was really ****ed about it because he agreed to it and it was left out of the typed up papers the attorney did. I refused to sign it until it was put back in and he got mad telling me he couldn't believe I would think he wouldn't take care of our son in the event of his death.... I told him I didn't doubt that he has every intention of taking care of his son but in the event he gets remarried.... who knows what would happen then and I wanted it in writing in a court document. Oh yeah... if you currently live in base housing you can remain in base housing while your divorce is in the works and he would have to either live in the dorms or make other living arrangements. The military will back you all the way... just make sure that you have a place all set up when the divorce becomes final. Good luck with everything.