[brunettebabe]

Sometimes when I am upset with my husband I think about leaving him, but I never get too serious about it nor do I ever try to take action towards it. Is it just my anger and my broken heart talking or is something deep inside trying tell me something?

[brunettebabe]

To understand the thread better let me add that he has schizophrenia and no libido. When I am upset I'll think to myself that I am 28 years old. I am still pretty young, still have a lot to look for, and a lot to experience. I don't need to be dealing with this at a such young age.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't know what to advise you, other than to leave.

I know that this is a new user name but I can't access at this point the old you, even though we have spoken.

If you feel that it's time you've had enough then you have..

I think I closed your last account name in any event... Your heart is hurting, it's obvious it's been months since you stated simular.

He may be sick but he buys you videos to shut you up.. He makes friends with other women and doesn't invite you to those events that he chooses to attend.

What are you worth ?

[Ashlee T.]

I echo what CW said. And I do realize that when someone has a diagnosed disease whether mental or physical, leaving is THAT much harder because you feel guilty. I think it would be wise of you to do some reading on co-dependency. There is an old book called Co-Dependent No More. It's important to understand WHY you skirt around the issue, why you stay, why you think about going. My opinion is you think about leaving because you are NOT happy and not getting what you need/want/deserve in this relationship. But you stay because you blame the issues on his disease, feel like that to some extent he cannot help it, and feel guilty to leave him. Classicly co-dependent.

[Brandywine]

I am not going to advise you to either stay, or leave your husband, as I don't think that's what you are truly asking. Also, I do not know every aspect of your relationship as you do of course, to just throw that advise up in the air. I agree with BD that it would be a great idea for you to get some more information about your situation. Maybe a support group could help? It must be very frustrating to feel the way you do, but also want to do the right thing. The right thing is something that only you can decide for you, your husband, and your relationship. It may help to try to "get back to the basics" and rediscover what it was that made you fall in love to begin with. If it's not there anymore, then that is another piece of the puzzle that can help you make your decision. It comes down to the effort you both want to make to try to work on your life together, which means equal effort from the two of you. It's totally your call, because you are ultimately in control of your life. And yes, you are young and have a lot to live for. And there is someone perfect for you in the world. The question is, is your husband that person and is the effort toward working on your relationship worth possibly rediscovering this?

I am sorry if I didn't give you the direct answer that you were looking for. But I believe every single relationship is different and an outsider cannot possibly know everything about it, ie. emotions involved, to determine what your relationship status should be. So, I thought it best to give you some things to think about. Hope it helps some

[brunettebabe]

I think you are right beautiful, but whenever I think about possibly being single again and once single going through the process of finding a boyfriend its hard to imagine. I guess its because I am so used to being around my husband and that guys don't like me very much. Being single all of the sudden after being around someone for many years is of course hard. Before marriage I dated only one guy. People in general (men & women) don't seem to like me. I was bullied. Guys never asked me out or flirted with me or said I was hot. I also never really had friends. I have always only had a few.

[Brandywine]

Honey, your last post tore at my heart. You're beauty should come from inside and radiate outward. I know how difficult it can be to crave that male attention and feel like they are looking in the other direction, as I've only dated two men as well. Like you, I stayed with the first because it took so long to find him and I thought if I left I'd never be happy again and find another. I relied on him for my confidence in myself. But, once you come to realize that you love yourself inside, and out, without completely relying on someone to make you feel that way, others, women included, will be drawn to your confidence and inner beauty that shines outward. It always helped me to try not to focus on the number of friends/guys I had, but the quality of the company I kept. Like you said in your original post, you have a lot to look for and a lot to experience. I hope your fear of rejection alone will not dictate your decision to stay in your marriage if you are truly unhappy. It's hard to believe, but I know many who have taken that first step out of a relationship in which they were not treated like they deserved to be, full of fear just as you are, and I was, that they would never find someone again, and they are now happily in a loving relationship. Sure, it's not an easy thing, and certainly it takes time. But, ask yourself if you love YOURSELF enough to do what you need to get to that point, and find what you deserve.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey Tara,

I off course recall you, haven't heard from you in ages... I just couldn't recall the user name you could no longer access, so I've put one of your threads here, so new members can get a further bit of information to assist them with any advice.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/husband-fiance/40253-another-girl.html

You know that you have tried and tried so many different things. I don't know if he still denying you sex, of offering DVDs in the replacement, or whether he's still flirting, or whether he's taking his meds.. But, with what you wrote sweetheart, you found your husband, there is someone out there for you.

If you are in a loveless, sexless marriage it surely is the same as being single isn't it?

Thinking of you, was in a hurry yesterday...

We're here for you.

CW