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why won't he touch me

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  • why won't he touch me

    my husband has stopped touching me... no caresses or stroking... we still have sex but it consists of him mounting me, doing his thing and then its over.
    he used to be really touchy feely and he used to care about my pleasure. he still says that he loves me so i guess he still does. i just don't understand how he never initiates sex or anything.

  • So he used to initiate sex, but he does not now? You're the one initiating all the time now? Did you initiate before? Were you also affectionate? Have you talked about it? How long have has he been this way?

    I'm not trying to dump a bunch of questions on you, but just trying to get background. What else can you tell us? I can think of things that would move me to respond this way (e.g. lack of reciprocation of affection) but without more it's hard to say.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

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    • belinda, how long have you been married and how long has this been going on? Has something changed in your relationship? How much have you both changed physically? Is he watching porn and masturbating a lot where it is affecting his libido? You say he never initiates, do you request sex and then he is very quick?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • Have you tried asking him to touch you or why he has stopped touching you? Is it obvious to him that you enjoy when he touches you? Have you tried telling him how much you like it when he touches you? Do you touch him? Do you lay there like a bump on a log or are you both actively engaged in pleasing each other? How is your relationship outside the bedroom?

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