[WinterTree]

I apologize for being so personal but the entire situation is extremely confusing. I've been with my fiance for over 4 years now and in the past intimacy was never a problem. In fact I was always the one to initiate intimacy in the past, however in the past year or so I cannot stand the thought of being intimate.

I've been very ill lately and stressed from work and the way he approaches me now turns me off rather than on. This never used to be the case but there's something about him pushing for it that instantly turns me off. He's been getting upset wondering if there's anything wrong with him and there isn't. I'm still very much attracted to him but the act of intimacy no longer does anything for me.

It's baffling me. I do not find any other men sexually attractive, I still find my fiance sexually attractive. But when it comes time to do something I become very turned off and I feel like I'm only doing it to keep him happy. I've had talks with him about it but he doesn't seem to understand that I just can't get there anymore and I don't even know why myself.

Any advice?

[DreamP346]

Illness and stress can do a number on desire. Wait it out and see if it continues. You may also want to try to reconnect and remember why you fell in love in the first place. Try to recreate those early dates. Hold off on sex and pretend like you are dating. Try touching, caressing and massaging without getting into sex. When as the last time you actually had a make out session?

Has the sex gotten a little slate - its always the same old stuff or these is no foreplay any more? Maybe try to spice things up.

We all go thru phases in our life. Just don't give up and close yourself off to sex. Try to find new and different ways to connect with your partner.

[kymmylou]

I am sort of in the same situation as winter tree, but I have tried the reconnecting and going out on dates etc. I tried the making out, doing spontaneous things together etc. Still not wanting to be intimate. When we are, on the rare occasion, I am not 100% there. I want to be good enough for him. But, I feel like I have tried everything and yet nothing helps. Any more ideas? Ill try just about anything. Thanks.