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  • 11noblc
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2012
    • 2

    Five months pregnant, boyfriend cheated, emotionally unstable

    Hello, I really needed to put this out there somewhere and hopefully get some feedback to make me feel a little bit less horrible. My boyfriend and I have been together five years, I am currently five months pregnant with our first child. I was starting to feel a bit suspicious so I started snooping in his phone, sure enough he had been contacting a girl, with whom he has previously had sexual relations with, they dated before we got together. I am so hurt, i dont know why i should have seen it coming but im still in shock and very hurt. It hurts more cause I have no idea why he would cheat on me. I am CONSTANTLY turned on and trying to jump his bones, hes the one who turns me down. I dont know if the extra weight ive gained and the acne which just wont seem to go away since i found out i was pregnant, the only thing i can think of is that he no longer finds me attractive and that hurts so so so bad right now. I feel as if not only hes betraying me but that hes also betraying our new family and saying that its not worth being faithful for. The saddest part is when i told him that he needed to leave and that i knew he was cheating he acted as if it didnt matter, that i had no right to be mad and hurt. He didnt even apologize or try to explain himself this is what hurts the most. I dont think i can get over this and right now i dont know how to handle anything. My emotions have been so crazy since ive been pregnant and now with this i feel like im going to snap. He lives with me and i tried kicking him out once i found out, hes not on the lease, but he will not leave, he is going to make me go through the entire enviction process. The thing is I live in a one bedroom apartment, i dont want to share a bed with him, i dont want to see him, i dont want to even think of him yet im stuck here with him. I tried getting him to sleep on the couch but he will not so i ended up coming out here on the couch, but am yet to be able to fall asleep, its hard enough getting comfy in bed let alone on a couch, its horrible. I'm sorry for the rant, I am just so hurt. What are your views on cheating? Should I try to fix it or kick him to the curb?
  • CHANDLERS WISH
    • Mar 2008
    • 22440

    Hi sweet welcome to WH.

    Congratulations on the forthcoming birth of your child.

    This is difficult, apart from feeling betrayed and rightly so.. If you feel you can't stomach him, at all is it emotions or you really aren't with the person you are meant to be with?

    I need to ask this so I hope I don't offend you and as an engaged person one would think he would be so happy and excited that he is having a child but is he? I get the feeling based on his actions he's not ready and upset.

    I won't reply further at this stage if you don't mind as I need to ascertain whether he is/was ready to be a Father to answer your actual question of kicking him to the curb or not.

    I am sorry that he cheated on you.

    Apart from sex also, how happy are you two together.

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment

    • 11noblc
      Junior Member
      • Jun 2012
      • 2

      Thanks for the response

      He has never mentioned how hefelt about having a baby, it was a surprise but to me it was a very exciting happy suprise, now thinking back he never did seem quite as excited as me. But he has a very closed personality I can never tell how he reallys feels and I always just assumed he loved me and was excited as well. As far as sex goes, I never once got the impression he wasn't pleased. If we did have sex it lasted no longer than about five minutes lol. But I did get the impression that maybe I'm no longer attractive to him because he would often say he was to tired, didnt feel well to get out of having sex. Thanks again.

      Comment

      • jns
        Assistant Admin
        • Mar 2010
        • 8398

        I'm sorry he is cheating on you. I'm also sorry he is not the type of guy who sees you as more beautiful when you are pregnant. I am that type of guy, so I can assure you some guys are.

        The acne during pregnancy is common. It will disappear a little while after giving birth. It is caused by the extra hormones you have running around in your body during pregnancy.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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