I'm not sure if anyone will ever read or respond to this, but I don't like telling my friends my marital problems because i dont want them to feel sorry for me and dislike my husband, and i'm tired of praying to no avail. My husband and I have 2 children with one on the way, and we've been together for 10years/married for 5. I'm 26 years old.
My husband from day one has always been verbally abusive towards me, but since we have been married it has been alot better. But i'll admit right now, my dad hs never been a positive person in my life, always blaming me for everything, never brought home grades that were good enough, and never told me he loved me or was proud of me. So speaking from a psychological point og view, i was never set up as a child to seek out a healthy relationship with a male. My husband doean't love me unconditioanlly, just like my father, and some how I not only stayed knowing this, but married him.
So my husband is very particular with speech etiquette, and his meals. I'm a bartender and i work mon-thurns 5pm to 1am. I'm pregnant and tired mpost of the time since I get up with the kids (4yrs and 2yrs old) every morning at 7am while my husband lays in bed. But according to him that's womens work, including cleaning, preparing meals, taking care of the kids, and I guess working and supporting the family too ( he works part time right now and is on unemployment). My husband is VERY VERY particular about food. for lunchhe'll have homemade sushi, homemade naan bread with sprouts pemeal bacon and chicken breast. evrything is home made (bread, tortillas, naan) and must be prepared exactly to his liking. if his meals are messed up, he will get very angry. today he told me he wanted the raw tuna in his sushi roll, and i thought he said on top, so i made it on top. i also didn't give him the pickled ginger ahead of his meal so he could pick at it until i made his lunch. he lost it on my, smashed the plate on the ground, smashed another plate, and then when i started crying, he picke dup a chair and threatened to smash the fish tank if i didn't stop crying. he tells me it's my fault he did that, and its my fault he lunch was ruined. but he never hits me. He breaks things, throws things, he'll push me into the counter, push me to the floor, dig his elbow into my arm until i bruise, and he has even spanked me like a child and put me in the corner. he tells me its my fault because i'm lazy and i act like a child. today it was my fault because he called my ahead of time and i should have had all the avacados cut up before he wake din the door, and made extra rice just in case. last week he dug is elbow into his arm because i interrupted him.. he makes me feel useless and stupid. he tells me i ruined the whole day and i do these things to him on purpose, but I would never do them to the kids. The more he yells at me, the dumber i feel and act, which makes him yell more. I have no education, i'm pregnant with 2 kids, and i dont have the relationship with my parents to run home to them. i justreally need to get an outside perspective on this. when i'm smart and his lunches are on time, and i have perfect speech etiquette, we get along great and i wold never ever leave. but when i mess up, he scares and makes me feel like a useless retard. n
If possible i would like an opinion that's not going to tell me to leave him right away. this only happens when i mess up and i feel like its my fault. and when i'm upset with him after one of our fights, i have less patience with my kids and yell at them instead of yelling at him. but i'm scared to get in his face.
My husband from day one has always been verbally abusive towards me, but since we have been married it has been alot better. But i'll admit right now, my dad hs never been a positive person in my life, always blaming me for everything, never brought home grades that were good enough, and never told me he loved me or was proud of me. So speaking from a psychological point og view, i was never set up as a child to seek out a healthy relationship with a male. My husband doean't love me unconditioanlly, just like my father, and some how I not only stayed knowing this, but married him.
So my husband is very particular with speech etiquette, and his meals. I'm a bartender and i work mon-thurns 5pm to 1am. I'm pregnant and tired mpost of the time since I get up with the kids (4yrs and 2yrs old) every morning at 7am while my husband lays in bed. But according to him that's womens work, including cleaning, preparing meals, taking care of the kids, and I guess working and supporting the family too ( he works part time right now and is on unemployment). My husband is VERY VERY particular about food. for lunchhe'll have homemade sushi, homemade naan bread with sprouts pemeal bacon and chicken breast. evrything is home made (bread, tortillas, naan) and must be prepared exactly to his liking. if his meals are messed up, he will get very angry. today he told me he wanted the raw tuna in his sushi roll, and i thought he said on top, so i made it on top. i also didn't give him the pickled ginger ahead of his meal so he could pick at it until i made his lunch. he lost it on my, smashed the plate on the ground, smashed another plate, and then when i started crying, he picke dup a chair and threatened to smash the fish tank if i didn't stop crying. he tells me it's my fault he did that, and its my fault he lunch was ruined. but he never hits me. He breaks things, throws things, he'll push me into the counter, push me to the floor, dig his elbow into my arm until i bruise, and he has even spanked me like a child and put me in the corner. he tells me its my fault because i'm lazy and i act like a child. today it was my fault because he called my ahead of time and i should have had all the avacados cut up before he wake din the door, and made extra rice just in case. last week he dug is elbow into his arm because i interrupted him.. he makes me feel useless and stupid. he tells me i ruined the whole day and i do these things to him on purpose, but I would never do them to the kids. The more he yells at me, the dumber i feel and act, which makes him yell more. I have no education, i'm pregnant with 2 kids, and i dont have the relationship with my parents to run home to them. i justreally need to get an outside perspective on this. when i'm smart and his lunches are on time, and i have perfect speech etiquette, we get along great and i wold never ever leave. but when i mess up, he scares and makes me feel like a useless retard. n
If possible i would like an opinion that's not going to tell me to leave him right away. this only happens when i mess up and i feel like its my fault. and when i'm upset with him after one of our fights, i have less patience with my kids and yell at them instead of yelling at him. but i'm scared to get in his face.
Makes me sound like a chav but it's nice!
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