[Beautitudes]

Hello everyone! Im sure that this topic has been discussed on this forum hundreds of times and I apologized for bringing in up again. However I am at the end of my rope and I feel so alone. I have been trying to find ways to help myself so I have been searching the internet to find help. My husband left me on June 25 of this year, he moved back to his home state on the east coast. unlike a lot of people that husband all of a sudden my husband has been threatening to leave for awhile. My story is a very long one but I will try to summarize in a short one. I married in 2007 my husband went to jail shortly after we where marriage (a month later) and then went to prison a couple of months later. I supported him the whole time he was there and I loved him so much and still do. He got out in 2011 and when his parole ended in June he left me. Now it's a lot to this situation. I guess im hurt because through all the things he put me through, drug addition, prison I stayed by his side I never one talk down to him, I never belittled him, I encouraged him, went to meetings, I loved him through the good and bad and he walked out on me. I when ever he calls me he talks to me like I am nothing. I don't know what to do anymore I feel betrayed and abandoned, Please someone Please help!!!!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi sweet.

This is not your fault. In-fact you've done nothing at all wrong.

He was into drugs, he got caught, he went to jaol for 4 years after being married for 1 month.

I commend you for all that you are, the effort you put into your marriage.

Sometimes being alone with a bunch of men, 4 walls, restrictions on foods, no drugs, no alcohol, no nothing, no life, for that long can change a man.

Nothing you could do would have, could have been able to change it. More than likely, he will do something again and go back and you never know what happened in jaol either, he could have been picked on, beaten or worse.

He has to find himself. He will either never, do anything wrong again and grow from this and realise what he has lost, or he will continue worse down the track and path he chose to take.

Love can not be one way. You deserve to be loved.

I don't think he knows what the word means.

Understand that he never had a married life with you persay, or you with him and you spent 4 years on your own. And, that you can't change what he did to get himself into this situation or where he will go from here.

Get on with your life. If he does come good, clean, he will realise and contact you, and it may just be too late. If he doesn't you will be grateful as he will go back in and you would have moved on, finding someone worthy of your love .

[Stillness]

Why was he threatening to leave?

[Beautitudes]

There was a point in our relationship before we were married that he would relapse and every time he did we would together try to find him help and places to go. Well one particular time I took him to a rehab place and while he was there he cheated on me, he actually left me and started dating another women. He relapsed again and came back home, well I've had trust issues with him every since. So in our marriage I couldn't communicated well because I didn't want to argue so he would tell me that he couldn't take that. And there were times that he left me stranded places and so I got to the point where I didn't let him use the car or I couldn't trust him with money so he told me that I was trying to run him and that I was treating him like less than a man. I've always had to make sure that I had back up plan because I had to keep things going when he didn't. I am very emotional and he didn't like that either. When I stopped paying everything and I ask him to step up and be a man it's like he started hating me. The last time I talked to him on August 27th he told me that he was living back with his daughters mother and that I should just find someone else because he don't even know if he's coming back. I know that I must go own but I hurts so much because I still love him and I value my marriage and the vow that I made before God and to God. I would have stood with him through anything because I loved him that much and I vowed through good times and bad. But he told my that that's just a piece of paper.

[Stillness]

I don't know what to say other than what CW already did regarding the way you feel. As far as the vow, doesn't him leaving you for another woman relieve you?

[jns]

The people in a marriage have to want to be in the marriage for it to work. He has made his decision. Your decision cannot change that. You can stay married as long as neither of you file for divorce, but that won't revive the marriage and may cause financial problems.