[MLocket]

My ex husband and I started to date when I was 19 and he was 27. We spent 6 years together and 5 years into being together and married, had our daughter. I guess the stress of being a first time mom and then working a job that had me 60 hours a week stressed me out so much that after months I left him bc I couldn't handle the fighting. I kind of came to the conclusion that he couldn't handle the fact that I was growing as a person and changing. I left him in April of 2010 and our divorce was final Dec of 2010. Now we are in Sept 2011 and we are wanting to work things out. Both of us have dated other people. I guess my question is if anyone has heard of success stories and if so, what steps should we take. We both obviously want this to work. I have to add that my SIL and I never got along. She is married to his brother and all she ever did was cause problems. How do I prepare myself for that? I dread it!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't think anyone can cope with working 60hrs a week, let alone have a baby on top. I gather he wasn't working?

Before entering back into this, you and your ex have to discuss distance, where his sister-in-law is involved, without obviously breaking the brother to brother bond that he shares.

What do you think has changed between the pair of you, that you both believe will make this work a second time around?

Because, it's going to take a lot of strength and work and adapting to changes, you are both a little different now.

I think you have to sit down and really nut this out, in how you both can make this work, discuss what really went wrong and how you both can adjust to the change of not including those ways, things into this new relationship.

Often too though if both have dated but haven't really found anyone else, they can tend to fall back onto each other. You both need to know in your hearts that the reason is love, nothing else. And, I'd take it very slowly and "not" move back in with him for the time being, rather re-court, the dating game with each other for some time, staying over seeing if there are old habits, or that they truly have gone things have changed...

[jns]

Before, there was the stress put on because of the tremendous time demand in taking care of a baby. Now you both are a little older and have found out that maybe the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Can you two compromise? Can you communicate? Do your outlooks on life mesh?