[redclovergirl]

Hello Everyone....
Okay, where to start.... I have only been married for 4 months, we have been together almost a year.... We went through about a month of arguing, about stupid stuff most was my fault. The big fight was again about nothing, now looking back on it... But my husband decided not to come home told me he had nothing to come home to. I wanted to talk it out like an adult, that did not happen, I was sick, up all night, didnt know if he was dead or alive, so then the next morning he finally answered his phone. He didnt know that I was in town and told me where he was, he was at an old work site, he said he didnt want to drink and drive and he had gotten really really drunk. I pulled up where he was I needed to see him, he was horrible hung over, he told me we were over and I was devistated, later that day after more talking on the phone, he told me he messed up really bad and called his ex girlfriend, who in the early stages of our relationship, had made trouble for us. I am pretty sure he went from her right to me.... Of course this whole thing, him drinking and calling her was my fault in his mind.... I asked him how long he was on the phone with her he said just under an hour. I went about a month before looking at his phone records, which I did today.... he was on the phone with her 4 hours and then text with her till the next morning.... I feel so sick, and I dont know how to think....There has been no communication between them since, I have made sure.... Im really messed up... we always talked about our relationship being pure, so what does this do?

Thanks for listening

[LisaD]

Did he just talk to his ex or do you think they hooked up?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think when you said "talk like Adults" that, that is the key to all of this.

You have only been together 1 year and 4 months before marriage.. It takes time to built a bond together and sometimes we have to compromise over things as well to make a unity of two being one.

It honestly sounds as if arguements and un-certainties are creating doubts...

The first year is supposed to be all lust and happiness.

You both need to work through your differences, likes and dislikes and become one in a happy and loving relationship without pointing fingers or arguing.

CW

[lavi]

Hi dear, we(me & my husband) also used to have so many fights on trivial issues in the first year of my marriage.But slowly..slowly, now after 4.5 yrs of marriage, we dont have much fights, rather have some arguments or calm discussion of issues which bothers either one of us.It takes time to understand each other once you start living together after marriage.

But,COMMUNICATION is the key.Communicate & discuss things which are bothering you & also listen to his issues or problems.
This will solve biggest of the problems & fight.

[cat_like_reflexes]

The trouble is you can't make another person understand where they've gone wrong, you can only try to lead the horse to water. If this person is becoming upset over trivial things, binge drinking, and calling ex-girlfriends, then there are some serious immaturity or emotional issues going on. I would guess he needs to see someone professionally about his problems.