[Alex HPS]

As somebody else mentioned, tesosterone levels are high in the morning. The fact that he's only able to get hard at this time suggests to me that his HPTA (hypothalamic-pituitary-testicular-axis basically the link between the brain and the balls) is depressed, probably due to the stress and exhaustion.

He needs some rest and relaxation I think before he will be able to function properly. It's really not that uncommon and reassuring him of this will help.

Also he may want to get his testosterone levels checked. Male hypogonadism is becoming more and more prevalent these days. I know guys as young as 21 who are on doctor-prescribed testosterone replacement therapy.

Lots of men have success at raising their test levels with 25-50mg of clomid every day, but of course I am not recommending that, merely pointing out that you don't have to take actual testosterone injections, IF you have low testosterone levels.

If it really is just 'performance anxiety' my personal approach would be to get some 50mg viagra tabs. Once he's given you a good seeing to a few times I would bet his anxiety will diminish. Again, I'm not making that a recommendation, just telling you what I would (and have) do/done.

Alex

[Sunlight72]

Hello OP,
I hope things are working out for you two, and congratulations on you new marriage!

I'm not sure if you're still physically together, or if your husband has re-located or been deployed without you, but I hope you will enjoy time together sooner than later

I don't believe stress is the problem. Masturbation is the problem. He's 36. He's been living on a steady diet of masturbation. His hand is tighter than you are. The symptoms you describe, from someone you illustrate as sexually interested is exactly what hundreds of thousands of sexually interested guys are experiencing - desensitized arousal from too much masturbation and/or porn.

The good news is that the longer he's Not Masturbating, or even touching himself (or viewing porn, if he was/is), the more responsive his body and mind will be to you and your body. But only if he stops touching himself!!!!! (did you see those exclamation points? That means this is critical information - this problem won't go away until he stops touching himself.)

His sexual arousal is now your domain. He doesn't get to play around there any more

Trust me, or (Please) look it up yourself - the info is all over the internet if you search. Many first hand experiences, described almost exactly like your husband's case (likes sex, likes you, excited to be with you. can't get hard, can't stay hard with you, but can stay hard with masturbation and/or porn).

Best Wishes,
Sunlight

[Guest]

My husband and I have only been married 1 week - we waited until marriage to be completely intimate, although we'd definitely "fooled around" before that. Then the big surprise, on our wedding night, he couldn't even get hard He decided it was "performance anxiety" even though I told him I had no expectations other than for us to enjoy one another. All weekend in fact. He finally got randomly hard Monday morning and I was able to get on him for just a couple minutes before he went flaccid again. Same thing this morning before work - we were able to be "together" a few short minutes and then he wasn't hard enough anymore.

He is convinced it's just stress and exhaustion - probably true given his job has been crazy and we're working on orchestrating a move overseas with the military in a few weeks. But honestly the LAST thing I expected us to have any problems with was having sex!! We're both highly driven in that way - but I'm guessing now maybe I am more so. He is really sweet to me, wants to take care of me, promises it'll all be okay - I do believe him, I'm just struggling with why this is a problem right now when we're first married and finally able to relax and have freedom.

Anyway, I'm really, really frustrated, but I can't let him know anymore because it only adds to his stress and would make it less likely for us to finally be able to completely be together - long enough to make it count.

He decided last night we should keep fooling around and just see what happened - I guess he was sorta craving it, so we did, and he desired I make him come with my hand - which I did, but he didn't even get totally hard before he came by my manual stimulation.

I'm just soooooo frustrated because I want to have sex with my husband - I've waited my WHOLE LIFE for this!!! And now it's just not even happening. I know I should be patient but it is so difficult. Plus we have only a short time because he's going overseas in a couple weeks and I won't get to see him again for a few weeks. Plus I'm going to do natural birth control and so the days when we can completely relax with regard to that are somewhat limited. This week and next week are safe, but not even knowing that is making it work He is 36 and never been married, but that shouldn't be old enough to have any problems I wouldn't think... =/

Hi... Suggestion.. Lots of foreplay :-). Persue him.. Dress flirtaous and have fun.. U dont have to do the wild thing in ur bedroom. Go any where.. Be adventerous.. Add some sudductive music,... Good luck.. Keep us posted.. Watch couple porn together and get person while playing...

[Harmony]

The only thing I can add from a man's POV is that if you want to build up the sexual tension you could perform oral on him in the morning and stop when he gets too excited - thus helping delay his ejaculatory response - not allowing him to cum at all, and then send him to work all horny, the odds are you'll be having sex that night!

I can honestly say now that as a 33 year old man with the stress/build up of my impending exams in a couple of months time I can say that stress and worry definitely have a negative impact on your sex drive, I always feel hornier in the mornings and whacked by night time. Also, in the last 18 months or so I know I can't masturbate as frequently as I used to be able to AND have sex as regularly, I just don't recover as quickly I used to so masturbate less frequently, or don't let myself cum when I do.

I know I suggest this book all the time but the 'multi orgasmic couple' outlines techniques which help the man strengthen the PC muscle and last MUCH longer, so he is not only capable of much more frequent and long lasting sex, but also has a much stronger desire for it, due to the sexual frustration which he builds up. It's definitely worth checking out.