My husband and I have been married for almost a year. Like most couples we have our ups and downs. Mainly our relationship has been great so far. Our relationship was a "whirlwind" as some people would say. We met, we moved in together, fell in love, etc all within less than a year. When we first met and started talking I was open and up front about how I had trust issues and had been hurt so many times before. He was always saying "trust me trust me trust me"
To make a long story short, I caught him texting another woman taking about how he missed talking to her etc etc. He lied straight to my face even with the evidence at hand. Saying he didn't text her. I was crazy etc I was upset and felt betrayed. He finally confessed He assured me it was nothing. They were friends, they had just talked a littlle bit bla bla. After lots of talking and reassuring from him that it was nothing I began to trust him again. A few months later we were married and things were great. Every now and then I would have a thought about him and her and what had really happened between them. I find myself jabbing at him when we would get into arguments, or when I was feeling down saying things about her and about how if it was nothing why would he risk our relationship to sneak and lie and text her. She is a close friend of his family so we see her at gatherings birthdays etc. That just makes things worse. I am the type of person who has to know all the why's and how comes of situations so I can understand it better so I think this has alot to do with it.
When he is drinking I tend to push him on the issue and I keep finding out that there was more to them than just friends. He recently told me that he used to text her alot while we were dating/living together and she told him that "she wasn't playing second best to no one, it was all or nothing" He said that he told her that he was happy with me and he "chose" me over her. Which should make me feel better right? But I feel worse about the situaton. What if he feels like he made the wrong "choice" and leaves me high and dry. I know this seems trivial but, I can't seem to let it go for some reason. I have never been this "stuck" on something before. And it is becoming to where it affects our relationship almost daily. Please any advice on how to let go of this. Should I trust him that he isn't still texting her or wanting to be with her? I am lost. Why can't I move past this? IS it trivial?
To make a long story short, I caught him texting another woman taking about how he missed talking to her etc etc. He lied straight to my face even with the evidence at hand. Saying he didn't text her. I was crazy etc I was upset and felt betrayed. He finally confessed He assured me it was nothing. They were friends, they had just talked a littlle bit bla bla. After lots of talking and reassuring from him that it was nothing I began to trust him again. A few months later we were married and things were great. Every now and then I would have a thought about him and her and what had really happened between them. I find myself jabbing at him when we would get into arguments, or when I was feeling down saying things about her and about how if it was nothing why would he risk our relationship to sneak and lie and text her. She is a close friend of his family so we see her at gatherings birthdays etc. That just makes things worse. I am the type of person who has to know all the why's and how comes of situations so I can understand it better so I think this has alot to do with it.
When he is drinking I tend to push him on the issue and I keep finding out that there was more to them than just friends. He recently told me that he used to text her alot while we were dating/living together and she told him that "she wasn't playing second best to no one, it was all or nothing" He said that he told her that he was happy with me and he "chose" me over her. Which should make me feel better right? But I feel worse about the situaton. What if he feels like he made the wrong "choice" and leaves me high and dry. I know this seems trivial but, I can't seem to let it go for some reason. I have never been this "stuck" on something before. And it is becoming to where it affects our relationship almost daily. Please any advice on how to let go of this. Should I trust him that he isn't still texting her or wanting to be with her? I am lost. Why can't I move past this? IS it trivial?
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