[CHANDLERS WISH]

Have a think about what you are writing.

Isn't it every girls fantasy to have a happy ending? To feel like a princess?

What's occuring is this. You've finally realised you have been a victim of emotional and verbal abuse for years and are not in love with your husband and haven't been for a long time. That you have been in a controlling relationship whereby there is no one. Just you. Your kids.

Along comes "A" guy.. And, you can see the grass is greener on the other side, you so want that badly, after all 16 years is a long time to live in a loveless, abusive relationship, where you have been controlled.

Off course you fantasize about this man, in every way shape and form, it's what you've missed so badly... And, so, it's the realisation of where you are at and where you want to be that is happening.

One person. Just one. Has entered your life, un-beknown to your husband, this person has shown the way for you. Opened your eyes of what lays ahead.

You don't really know if he's the one. You are in love with the idea of love and so you should be.

Divorce. Smile and laugh with your children. Get out there and make friends, be free, yourself finally. Then let nature do it's course.

We learn from everything in life. Do not get involved with anyone like that again, you are worth more.

[HEJJ]

Thanks for all of u again, I have to tell you guys its not as easy as we write these things down...maybe I do not have the audacity...maybe I do feel already guilty that I did look at another man....maybe if I would not fall for him I would be in content what I have or not have...I have a doubtful morning

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Cross road.

Ok, so write down a list left hand side positives and right, negatives about your entire 16 years in this marriage. Then write down your wish list, of what you've dreamed of and wanted to do and then ask seriously whether you are doing any of them, whether you can do any of them or whether you are blocked from doing any of them.

Then re-read it all over and over.

[jslater]

Keep in mind what you described is clearly abuse by my standards. Once an abuser...always one. A word of advice. Stay away from the friend. I know you desire him...but you can't trust your emotions due to your intense feelings of desperation. In addition, it could get messy and dangerous quickly if your trying to end a marriage and your husband thinks your cheating. You want him to clearly understand your ending it because he is a terrible person who you never thought could ever treat you so poorly. Good for you for realizing you deserve better. Just b careful. Remember you are your kids role model. You don't want to raise them thinking how he treats u is OK.