Looking for ideas to have fun with hudband - I am bored

[Poupée]

Hello everyone,

I am looking for ideas to have fun with my husband. I am making so much effort for our marriage to work and I am realizing we haven't even celebrated 1 year of marriage yet. He is a guy who likes to stay home, yet has fun when I can make him go out with my friends. But all we do is stay home, go to restaurants, stay home, do the groceries, stay home, go to the restaurants...u get the picture.

I am a person who loves to dance and it's been 4 years I am trying to have him take dance lessons with me...no success. As a matter of fact I just decided to go by myself because it is something that I really enjoy. I may not know when to stop dancing, but he never starts :-(

Maybe I should mention that we are 12 years apart (I am 31 and he is 43), I don't know if that counts really... I have suggested the following and nothing seemed to be of interest to him:
- hiking, zip lining, adventures
- Water parks
- Walk in the park and feed the ducks
- Dance lessons
- Swim in the pool once a week

Can you give me some ideas of other things I could do to have fun outside the house with my husband?

Thanks

[jns]

Does he like music? Live music? Then go to clubs and concerts.

Does he like to travel? Take cruises? Visit national parks? What does he like?

I understand about dancing. I wasn't good at it and felt self-conscious. Further, I didn't have a gf to dance with. After I got married, we started going out dancing with friends, often as a big group. I had a change of attitude in that I no longer care what others think along those lines.

Does he move to music at all?

[Stillness]

Volunteer work.

[rcoreyus]

Your suggestions covered a pretty wide range. Age isn't the issue, I'm 50 and all of those sound like fun - especially if I could do them with someone I loved. My wife and I have been married almost 30 years and we still do all sorts of fun things together.

I assume that if you ask him, there isn't anything he says he likes to do. At home what does he do for fun - watch tv / computer games/ FB?

[Poupée]

jns, he told me he used to DJ when he was younger. But he rarely listens to music. I don't know if it is now or if it is since I met him, because I am the kind to wake up and put the music on to start my day. But I am sure that music doesn't move him. When he loves a song, he just says "I love that song" and listens to it if I put it on. When I love a song, I go crazy and would dance until my feet bleed. I am not asking to be as extreme as I am, but a just a little...After 4 years, now I am starting to realizing that maybe he doesn't really enjoy music as he says. Maybe he said it because he saw how addicted I am to music and dance... We haven't gone out to dance often. But when it happens that we find ourselves where there is music, he sits there and I go dance. The first time we danced together was the first dance at our wedding, it was literally a first dance and he stood still while I was dancing around him. Last week-end I forced him out and same thing, he stood still as I was dancing. That night a guy even came from nowhere and pulled me away from my husband to dance with him, but out of respect for my husband, I didn't go dance and stood still by his side while dying inside to go dance. So I have no hope for the dance part...

Travels! Yes he loves to travel in his own way: stay in the hotel and go to restaurants. He doesn't really care about visiting. As a matter of fact, our last trip I ended up visiting all by myself. It's been 6 months and I still can't digest the fact that he let me go all by myself with an unknown guy to visit a city an hour away from where we were. He only visited the block where the hotel was. So I am afraid to go on a cruise and finding myself enjoying it all by myself...

Stillness, I haven't suggested volunteer work. I will try and see. Thanks for the suggestion.

rcoreyus, he works from home so most of the time he is on his laptop. When he is not working he is on an online board, or watch TV. And he spends 90% of the time in the bedroom. He gets out when it's time to eat. To me that is not fun, but that's what he seems to like to do...how do I get him out?

[jen1447]

It sounds like he's just a homebody. There's nothing wrong with that. Rather than try to change him, I'd take a look at what you can change about you. If the extra fun is a must for you, do it with friends, and explain to him why. But if doing it with him is a must, and he won't ... you may have married the wrong guy.

Did this never come up before you got married?

[rcoreyus]

Not wanting to be pessimistic, but maybe your interests are just too far apart. When you are married you don't need to enjoy all the same things, but there should be enough things that you like doing together that you don't get bored.

[Poupée]

This issue was brought up before and his answer was always that he would do anything to please me, that if i want to take dance lessons with him, he would take them. Or wtv I would suggest, he would be open to it. But its only now that I am realizing they are just words. I already have fun with my friends and i go dance with them from time to time. But I want to have similar fun with my husband...

[gunjank]

TRy to talk about some spice in your life with your husband.
Try some new short dresses in front of him.or talk about porns.

Try to read his mind,what let him excited.