[jen1447]

^ Sometimes I feel like having a crisis just so I can get some CW lovin.' You always give the best kind! ^

[anonymous101]

I looked back through your previous posts and what I see is that you've said he is a binge drinker, that you fear him hurting you, that he is a workaholic etc. etc. and that he doesn't always follow through with what he says to you. I don't ask why you are depressed I ask why not be depressed. The one thing that you must do for yourself is ensure that your children and you are safe, that you have enough cash to leave if need be and that you need a support system. People that will support you in whatever decisions you make.

You need to know how much is in the bank accounts that you don't have access to. You need to know how much you have in assets. You need to know about educational account and retirement accounts. Once you know all this you are armed with vital information should push come to shove.

The second thing you need to do is to get your self-confidence up. You need to get in a better frame of mind so that you can cope and deal with the stressors in your life. You may need a life-style coach or group to help you with this. But do not think for one moment that people don't want you around.

You have a serious issue and I think you may be a candidate for professional help. Please talk to your doctor, tell him what you've said here and ask for help.

You are right. I have found a wonderful doctor to help me step by step, and I feel so much better just having someone to talk to and have them respond to me. The advice she gave me was to fix me and then decide if the relationships around me were worth fixing. This should be a positive time of life, its time for me to get out of the house and make something of myself, feel useful and appreciated and part of society, so I am following doctors orders and aiming to 'live' not just survive.

[anonymous101]

I was 17, my sister 18 when she gave up her first child, which my mother and I raised. She has been a junkie since then and has made homes, pets and furniture and bills, only to leave in a hurry. And leave everything behind. She has just lost custody of child number 3. And her government housing, which we were left to sort through everything to get anything of value or belonging to the children. Also she left more animals behind. My mother didn't know nor want to deal with her when it began 20 years ago, so she told me to. And I have held my tongue up until recently. I also calmly mentioned to my mother that it was unfair of her to lump me with that and then criticize my way of bringing up my children. My mother and I still speak, but I pull her up every time she comments on how I should be a harder discipliner. As for my eldest daughter, she is obviously going through crazy hormone stuff and I tried so hard today to ignore the heartache and just pretend she is being polite. The doctor said that she needs me to show love even when she is terribly angry, and I need to be strong for her.....which means tears in the shower. I have 2 more daughters to hold myself together for, so I gotta try.
I truly appreciate all the support I have received here... I thought I was more than alone the other day. I didn't want to be near me ;/ But thankyou all of you for taking the time for me. I cant express how helpful that is xxxx

[anonymous101]

CW, I wish I could hug you. You actually understood me even in my addled state of mind.
My meds are increased now and the focus is me and the kids. I do feel better having aired my feelings finally. I've always been a people pleaser....erk!!!
I feel supported and stronger just having this and a good doctor. Even my 7 year old said today after school 'oh look mom, you're happy!' Made me realize that although they don't show it, they see it all.
I hope your life is as ideal as you'd like it... with the way you help people, you deserve it.
Thankyou xx

[CHANDLERS WISH]

101. Number 1 then there is a space 0 and then a 1 again, number one you're going to do it to

You wish you could give me a hug? You just did thank you We all need them.

Let's follow your journey together huh. This thread, write on when you are down and need a pick me up and when you are happy or want to share something that made you happy...

We'd love that ..xx back at ya

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey lady it's been a week, how are things, more importantly you.