[chocochip1]

Ok, I have question....here's the situation...there has been a history of cheating in our marriage. My husband cheated on me and when we split I cheated on him (I had oral sex performed on me).He said he slept with one woman and the other he said he only let her perform oral on him. We got back together. Well, I was thinking all was fine and dandy when I noticed a phone number on his cell bill. I asked him about it because of the frequency of the number, he told me it was one of his co workers. No problem right? Wrong, it was not a problem until I took a closer look and seen the times of the calls, they were at 1,2 or 5/6 in the MORNING He tells me they talked about church...but get this he DOESN'T talk about church to ME!!!! He swears nothing happened between them but the calls happened at a ungodly hour and the frequency to the point he got off phone with me to talk to her. Am I wrong to feel that he hurt and betrayed. Because 1.) like I said I try to talk about the Lord, church with him and he doesn't talk to me...but you talking to her (so he says). 2.) He asked me not to call my male friends (of which I gave up when we got married) and I have stopped...one I had a problem with stopping but I haven't talked to him in over 2 years.

I want to trust him and believe him when he says he didn't do anything, but given his track record it is a little hard! What do I do? I told him I am tired of being hurt (AND I AM!) When I did what I did we wasn't together....still wrong but I left because he slept with someone else and then let somelse suck his thang thang. I told him before I wanted a divorce because I DON'T TRUST HIM. But he insists we try.

[kaylar]

It is a fact of life that one can not commit adultery
unless one is married.

Being married is so important for the adulterer
that he will do anything to keep his wife
but will NEVER give up his girlfriend.

In fact, if his girlfriend leaves him, he will
quickly find another.

Adulterers are like serial killers or
Ripples, you can't have just one.

You owe this man nothing.

Often a man has an affair, the relationship
ends, and the woman has a 'revenge'
affair.

Revenge affairs are peculair in that...
1) the man doesn't exist, he is a surrogate
an animate dildo and her mind is focused
on her husband.
2) there is no emotional connection between
the wife and the revenge lover. He's just
available
3) If the husband had not been unfaithful
the wife never would have engaged in affairs,
not even flirtations.

Most women describe revenge affairs as;
"In your face hubby!"
many saying;
"As I took off my clothes all I was thinking was
'see hubby? another man wants me...! Look
what I'm going to do...!"

My advice would be to quietly and discretely,
pack up and leave. No forwarding address no
cell number, nothing.

Let's see how long it takes him to find you.
And when he does...
no.
No matter what he says...
No.

[LadyLane]

What you just described is exactly how my friend found out her husband was cheating (and in love) with another woman. These really long phone calls at odd times, either after she and the babies (yup) were asleep or an hour or two before he had to be in work. And of course he worked in the same building. And they went to the same gym.

Someone said that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Meaning, you seem to be in the same boat you were in before.

So what if she's a co-worker? That's where most affairs begin!

Sounds like he didn't do anything to get your trust back. Maybe he's embarrassed to get a divorce and have you tell people the real reason, and that's why he wants you to stay together. Some men can't or won't let go of their wife, no matter how much they hurt her, lie to her, and make her life miserable.

[adallas]

cheating husband

if he cheats once he cheat again and if you find a fool bump her head don't be a fool

[becca_smith75]

[quote=becca_smith75;25215]Yuck, that is weird hours, its like a goodnight call and a goodmorning call..... you do that with a crush, not a friend.
That sounds like an affair and if not an affair yet a soon to be one. that sucks!
He has got "caught" talking to another woman. You now dont know if its an affair yet. But Its sounds like it will. This is your chance to really figure out if this is how you want to live the rest of your life with this guy worried he is or will cheat on you. Its a horrible feeling to be jealous. Its one of the worst feelings. And it ultimately leaves you with No self esteem. And sounds like hes feeling the same "worried" cause he asked you not to talk to any guys...
So you asked him and he says its a woman he talks to about his interests, and she obviously is into him too.
I'd mentally and emotionally prepare to leave him. but if you really want it to work you may need to talk to someone together so he realizes that this could be over really OVER!

[JubesInquest]

Sounds like it's over.
All this "revenge" cheating... going back and forth....
What about diseases? Anybody concerned about that?

[Dragonfly]

Trust is the key to a marriage. If you lose that. It's over.

[JubesInquest]

Trust is the key to a marriage. If you lose that. It's over.

This bears repeating.
*Gives Dragonfly a standing ovation*