[golfer44]

Any of you gals have a husband/fiance that is always working? How do you deal? I have a fiance that is always working and when he is home, he is so tired (manual labor). He's a good man overall, but I feel lonely.

On the weekends, he works on Saturday mornings, and we get to spend dinner at his parents, and on Sundays, he spends "me time" with his friends in the mornings and we watch the games (football, etc) at his parents in the afternoon. The whole "parents' house" thing - he's got brothers that he is very close to that he likes spending time with. His family is so great with me and my daughter. And during summer, they (including the fiance) are there to watch my daughter's soccer games in the morning, or during the winter, they are there to ski with her.

Again, he's a good man, but I feel that I want him to be more "present" or am I asking too much? How do you gals deal - is this normal, am I making an issue out of nothing? I see that his brothers have their own lives too - that it seems that they do not spend time with their wives/fiancees too. I think it's weird, but maybe I have an unrealistic view (I do have some issues), but I just want clarification. Do your S/Os spend a lot of time (again, I see it as "a lot" maybe it's really not) away from you?

Hahaha - I have a "hollywood" view of marriage - have to be together, always in love, doing things in the house, going out to dinners, talking while drinking together, sitting by the fire and talking kind of stuff.... I feel I have a misconception and I just want to poll the happy people out there - what do you gals do/think?

BTW, this will be my 2nd mariage, my first hubby was always there but we had to call it quits because he was an alcoholic that always sabotaged things. Gosh, can't have it all eh?

[misskitty3]

well, i don't think that its unrealistic to want some together time, but it is unrealistic to keep this "hollywood" image of what marriage should be. i thought that way for a long time, and that was the main reason we pushed back our wedding date two times.

I think that a marraige is what you make it. if you say that he is a good man, then that's great! everything seems to be on the up and up as far as family time comes, and he even works! (think if he didn't work...so many of us have to deal with that as well!)

so, you want some more couple time...suggest that on saturday nights, you spend time together. whether its to stay in and watch a movie, or go to dinner, or just lay in bed all night...whatever you decide on that day and then he'll have his time on sunday with family/football. and if he works saturday morning anyway, he'll probably be down to just chill with you saturday night.

my hubby used to work all the time, and he would have to be away for weeks at a time! i would get lonely but i'd find other ways to entertain myself. now, he just goes to school full time and i'm wishing he would be away sometimes! LOL!

so in conclusion, i think you should bring up that idea but don't come across as this being a MAJOR problem, but something you'd like to change....

let me know how it goes!

[golfer44]

Miss K - thanks for the reply. AND thanks for putting it into perspective - at least he works! You are 100% correct - my goodness, my ex-hubby couldn't even keep a job. (as I'm writing this - I just look over the couch *lol* he's snoring away). I do love this guy and just want to make it work. I will have to "schedule" a day or two per month for just "us" time. Hopefully that would keep me happy. You're also dead on about finding things for me to do. The issue is I bought the property away from my friends and family - so I feel alone. HOWEVER, I can always find things for me (and my lil girl) to do. I think the key is just finding things to get me busy so I'm not "analyzing" everytime he's not home.