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how much does your spouse know about you?

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  • how much does your spouse know about you?

    For the last 6 months I have been doing a diet that involves fasting two days a week. My husband either still doesn't know which days I fast (it's always the same) or doesn't bother to remembers. Not that it's a big deal, but I sometimes wonder if we are living together, shouldn't he be aware of little behaviors of his spouse?

    Something that does bother me a little is that I am a vegetarian and am very conscious of my protein intake. After all these years, my husband still can't prepare a meal for me that is high in protein. It's always white pasta. He doesn't even use the whole wheat pasta that I usually use. Granted he probably only makes dinner 4 times in a year, but after 14 years together, I would think the things that matter to me would be top of his mind automatically.

    Sometimes I think I should be more bothered by this, but other times I think I'm asking too much and expecting him to be a mind reader.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

  • I realized yesterday that I don't even know where my wife works. I sorta knew, but I didn't have the address and I've never been there. She's been there about 6 months.

    I think we generally know quite a bit about each other.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment


    • I can empathize with you sp. Men are generally oblivious to much that goes on around us. Yes, he should not only be aware but also supportive of your diet and needs.

      That said, if it is important to you that he remembers, make it a point to tell him. Having been married, sometimes it is a mystery what issues my spouse thought were incredibly important. I have therefore been through the "but you should have known" and "I'm not a mind-reader" arguments ad nausium. This may not get to the argument stage, but you are clearly annoyed. Don't let it fester. Let him know, in a non threatening way, that these little things are important to you. You will have taken away the mystery and he can be supportive as you need him to be.
      "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

      Comment


      • I think your diet is probably pretty low in his thoughts and priority, so I wouldn't be too hard on him for that. He probably pays little attention to what you're eating even if it's different from what you served, or he served, everyone else for dinner.

        If there were a serious health concern, such as diabetes, and you were eating a poor diet and he took no notice or concern, I'd think differently.

        Comment


        • He probably is not so concerned with eating healthy as you are so is not paying attention to the exact quantity you need. Depending on your working schedules, maybe he can’t be always present to see you eat, so he assumes that you don’t starve yourself. You can mention the diet you are trying and see if he becomes concerned with your health, since he might consider it’s not beneficial for you. You might try an astrologer to talk about your compatibility with him and find out if the situation will improve in the future.

          Comment


          • We can't expect partners to be mind readers, but I've learned that men really do need to be told stuff. Is he aware of how important the way you eat is to you? He possibly thinks you're ok with being 'off the wagon' when he cooks, that it's not a big deal. BUT iff it's only a few times a year then honestly, is it such a big deal? It's not something that he's aware of every day, not on his daily radar. Men aren't particularly observant a lot of the time but surely a bit of compromise a few times a year isn't gonna be detrimental?

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