[kaz73]

Hi I'm Karen I've been with my husband for over 20 years I was shocked when he told me he had a fetish that he would like to see me have sex with a younger black man and told me lots of couples do it and it good to spice up a relationship I was a bit confused at first but after a good long chat with him I was starting to get aroused by it I do look at hot black men has anyone else done this and if so did it work or split the relationship up.

[Pollon]

Do you have kids? Is this really the first you've heard of his fetish? Have you or he EVER been unfaithful? Or talked about a more "open" marriage?

[kaz73]

Hi no he can't have kids I never heard of this fetish we never had an open marriage

[effy2014]

I am having trouble wrapping my brain around this. You have been in a monogamous marriage for 20 years. No discussion of having an open marriage. Out of the blue, your husband reveals that he wants to see you have sex with a young black stud. Your initial reaction was confusion and now you think its hot? You think everyone does this, not just in the fantasy land of porn films?

Before I can even intelligently respond, are the two of you having marital problems? Did you ask your husband why he needs to see another man touch you? Why, other than for stereotypic reasons, the man needs to be younger or black? Have you two tried any other means to spice up your sex life?

[Baboy]

Kaz, you have all of 2 posts here and we know nothing about you apart from the snippet of info provided.

I'm another guy, and I'll hitch my cart to Effy's horse. It sounds rather weird, out of the blue, after 20 years. My wife has been my wife for about 10 years, half the duration of your marital relationship. If my wife told me tomorrow she'd find it hot to see me with a black woman (or any other woman, for that matter), I would really wonder if I knew my wife at all.

While it might sound superficially titillating for a guy to hear his wife tell him to go ahead and have sex with another woman, I know that in my case, it is not something I would want license to do and I would regard the giving of license to likely be more antithetical to our marriage than enhancing same.

[Something_Awesome]

Man, this question sure comes up a lot on this forum

[effy2014]

Yup. This is a great example for those that think porn is ruining our brains. People have a hard time distinguishing between fact and fantasy.

[jen1447]

It's also a good example of what we were talking about in the other thread as far as taking a wait and see approach ....I was gonna reply to this yesterday but then figured I'd hold off. Might still be a good discussion, as I do believe this is a legitimate 'thing' for a lot of people.

[effy2014]

I enjoyed the few prior threads about bringing a third part into the bedroom (I think it was the MFM). It was thought provoking. Even if not pure fantasy, I find the overtones this thread to be very misogynistic. Maybe akin to the "watch her ********** be destroyed" porn. Never understood it.

[jen1447]

It seems to me like the trends that can't be ignored are that this sort of thing almost always involves a presumably white woman having sex with a black man, and that it's always a fantasy of the male for his female partner and/or a fantasy of the female to do herself, at the expense of her male partner. I don't think I've ever heard of a woman having this specific fantasy with the roles reversed, and for that matter I don't remember seeing it in lesbian or bisexual contexts. (Can't speak to whether or not it's so with gay men.) So I guess I'm curious why it's seems only white people have the fantasy, why the third party always has to be a black guy, and why it's always the female doing the extracurriculars.

It's actually typical in the cuckold lifestyle (but not universal) for the partners the "hotwife" sleeps with to be black men. They're commonly called "bulls," which seems to suggest potency. Do white men feel inferior to black men sexually, and if so, why? And why would that inferiority complex manifest as a sexual fetish? I think we've asked this before but I'm still curious.

I think there is a cultural trend afoot (and has been for some time) to celebrate and praise and hold in high regard the supposed sexual virility of black men, tho I'm not sure why that is. Media? Music videos of well-built black guys with lots of bling surrounded by women of all colors are pretty common, and while you see white men in similar contexts, I wouldn't say the level of regard is as high. (For example rappers ....with the exception of Eminem, most white guys who rap seem to be considered posers.) Somehow the specific topic of this thread seems a bit more seedy than just a basic generalization like that could account for tho. In a strange way it's almost objectification, much like traditionally happened with women and porn.

What confuses the issue even more is that there does seem to be a trend among black men in the last decade or two to "get white women," almost like it's a retaliatory thing, as if the objective is at least in part to shame white men - which seems to have a parallel to the fetish of white men being shamed. So is this fantasy the result of the perception of emerging black male sexual dominance? Or are black men perceived to be emerging sexually dominant as a result of some proclivity on the part of white men to be passive?

I'm obviously just throwing stuff out there for the purpose of discussion so don't take any of it too seriously and don't get offended please.