[Findingluckystar]

So, I went out with a gf on sat's night for a lady's night, chat ,gossip,laugh,eat,drink..all the little fun things ladies do on the weekend with deary gf. Anyway, her bf joined us later of the evening just before we were about leaving, so we stayed a little longer for he wanted to eat too, in between awaiting for his food and his bill , he has thrown a few winks and fly kisses at her; holding her hand, I was jealous , not because I like him,none at all, just for the reason of I've been married for 13+ years, I've NEVER have this kind of affections from my HB ,not even before marriage. ********, how could this affections lasted that long for they've been together for 3+ years while Ive never experienced any???so jealous...
One day ,a male customer came to the store I work, he was totally lost himself for he startled a little when I asked him some questions ,not answering the right respond. I laughed after he left, coworkers said he was mesmerized by me...boy I was flattered, if only my HB does that....

[Stillness]

Do you give it? Sometimes giving a little affection will get you some in return. It takes two to tango.

[Something_Awesome]

I've been with the GF for over three years and the affection is still like it was the first three months; maybe stronger in some ways now.

[Motorguy]

Well FindingluckySTAR Me and my wife been married 27 years and we both still flirt with each other all the time. I feel it's keep a wonderful spark in the marriage even with having 4 daughters as well. I know some women thinks it's the man job to court or do the flirting but it really better when you both do it. So it has nothing to do with how long you been married 3 to 13 or 27 years it takes two to have a flirting marriage.

[Findingluckystar]

I guess I didn't describe of what kind of man I have .A man that don't know to go to barber when his hair has grown so messy, he doesn't use deodorant nor cologne nor caring of his self image. He starts using deodorant only after I bought him one couple weeks ago.
He only learnt to hold the door or elevator if he was the first exiting like I do after I told him so repetitively for the past 13 years & finally he kinda got it now.
I flirted with him but he didn't clue in
I hinted of not to eat too much onions as it gives bad breath ,he didn't clue in , so I've to say no kissing if too much onions or garlic that causing bad breath.
I hinted my vase looks lonely and I should get some flowers in, he didn't clue in, so I've to say please go get me some my favorite flowers
I got horny and sat on his lap , he felt awkward
I told him how nice m gf's bf brought her favourite coffee to her wok place once in a while, he said is a waste of time
I used very little of the perfume we both think it smell good ,he said what was that smell that so strong ( instead of saying smell good)
This man I have is in his 50s, but I felt like I've to give him a dialogue what to say and what to do to show love to his wife and his family.

[effy2014]

Given your second post, Findingluckystar, I have to ask . . . why did you marry a man with whom you do not seem compatible? All of these annoying traits should have been apparent when you were dating.

Romance, grooming habits, gentlemanly behavior and the like are characteristics learned at an early age. I am always amazed at how many men find romance to bothersome, whether married or dating. You are on the only path possible at this point . . . to communicate the importance of these gestures to you. I would suggest, however, that instead of pointing out each gesture you want him to make, that you frame it in a way that a "non-romantic" would understand. You want to feel loved and appreciated. You want to feel beautiful and respected. Taking care of himself and doing the little things you describe are the tangible was he can show his love and appreciation.

[Findingluckystar]

Effy2014, I thank you for your reply. At first I found this site just to vent my feeling , but it did make me feel better .
Why did I marry this man that I found incompatible , I asked myself that question too, is a long story, too long & the answer to that q in short is that, I was stupid.
1 day, down the road,when my kids are independent enough, I'll be leaving him, I've told him before but he refused to talk about this thought.
, I like to be happy for the rest of my life ,life too short to whine everyday.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's sad when people get together and "hope" which more than likely is what you did.. "hope" that it would turn out.

You would not be the first or the last to settle for what ever reason.

I would not have stayed just quietly if my guy never wore underarm or groomed himself, it would just put me off too much.

Why don't you try to become that independent woman who can take control of her life with her kids. Kids understand trust me, nothing is impossible.

[effy2014]

Whatever the circumstances, I am sorry that you found yourself in that position. Having your life in a holding pattern is excruciating. We can debate whether staying in a bad marriage helps the children, but know that there are many romantic men out there.

After she had innocently mentioned that her favorite candy apple store was out of sprinkles, I got my SO (then just a friend) to notice me in a romantic way by overnighting a box of red/white/blue sprinkles (her favorite) and having them deliver 4 caramel and sprinkle dipped apples to her. Sometimes very simple things make a huge impression.

[Motorguy]

I guess I didn't describe of what kind of man I have .A man that don't know to go to barber when his hair has grown so messy, he doesn't use deodorant nor cologne nor caring of his self image. He starts using deodorant only after I bought him one couple weeks ago.
He only learnt to hold the door or elevator if he was the first exiting like I do after I told him so repetitively for the past 13 years & finally he kinda got it now.
I flirted with him but he didn't clue in
I hinted of not to eat too much onions as it gives bad breath ,he didn't clue in , so I've to say no kissing if too much onions or garlic that causing bad breath.
I hinted my vase looks lonely and I should get some flowers in, he didn't clue in, so I've to say please go get me some my favorite flowers
I got horny and sat on his lap , he felt awkward
I told him how nice m gf's bf brought her favourite coffee to her wok place once in a while, he said is a waste of time
I used very little of the perfume we both think it smell good ,he said what was that smell that so strong ( instead of saying smell good)
This man I have is in his 50s, but I felt like I've to give him a dialogue what to say and what to do to show love to his wife and his family.

Well Findingluckystar now we are dealing with how he was raised. I guess his dad didn't do this with his for his mother growing up so when they get to age to be married they don't know how to act or respond.This posted reminds me of Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory on TV he has no clue how to act around women but has a girl friend god only knows why. I say you need to take your husband to a marriage therapist and see if they can knock some basic since into your husband head. But some times the old saying go's you can't teach a old dog new tricks. Maybe he's just lost in this department how to some basic loving things for his wife. But I do feel for you on this subject. My wife is a little more outspoken, she will kind of give me a look that women do as i will be like what. She will say think about it, I do then will take care of it.