[24glenda]

im 19 years old and married with a son..um i sopund crazy but i have this unsecurity with myself ever since i gave birth to my son..every time a girl passes by you know walking in front of us(husband and me) i tend to think my husband is staring at her behind..i tell myself in my head that he is not i tell him and he tells me he loves me alot he wouldn't do that!!any advise please should i stop thinking that or what! please respond back thank you

[metalbudderfly]

hi 24,
i understand how you feel. my first hubby cheated on me with a very young girl, much younger than i was at the time. now i'm older 38 to be exact and now i'm in a wonderful relationship and have learned some things over the years. what i have come to realize that men are just wired in that way. they are very visual beings. my husband is very true to me and has never cheated on me in any way but he does enjoy looking at other women so be it by porn, on the computer, tv, magazines, or out in the world. he will even comment on how beautiful he thinks a woman is or just comment on a certain part of her body. it used to get to me because it did make me feel like i wasn't good enough and i know my body isn't perfect i have had 3 babies. but i did get over it because i know deep down in my heart he loves me and my body. he is with me everyday and night. i'm the one he comes home to now for 7 years. i used to play along, like say oh she is cute don't you think? it would catch him off guard when i did that. i never let him know that i was jealous in anyway. just follow your heart, if you know he would never betray you then who cares if he looks. it's inocent. men are just that way. well maybe not all of them but the most i have met are. you should hold your head up high and just remind yourself he picked you to marry and have a child with, no one else!!!! be proud of yourself. when you are confident with yourself it will show to him and everyone else. especially your husband. i hope this helps a little.......

[bubbles]

understanably

I understand how you feel. It is not easy going through child birth and feeling your best. I know i have been through it twice and its hard. Its a very vulnerable stage.
I think that if you feel like that your looking at her and feeling he likes what he see's, it may too be just in your eyes, and hes just looking. But I do agree that he loves you and wants you, married to you and comes home to you.
I think woman can look at woman and think she is goodlooking. And worry her man thinks the same thing.
Woman tend to look other women up and down like its a competition, and men look at each other like the other men are intruding on there territory, like "shes mine", but that is natural to feel that way. Its human nature.
Your a young couple, in love, with a new family, thats beautiful. Trust in it. Looking is natural. Love is something else entirely.

[laura169]

It is Ok

I understand how you feel. How long since you had your child ? Do you work, are you able to get out and be with people?

im 19 years old and married with a son..um i sopund crazy but i have this unsecurity with myself ever since i gave birth to my son..every time a girl passes by you know walking in front of us(husband and me) i tend to think my husband is staring at her behind..i tell myself in my head that he is not i tell him and he tells me he loves me alot he wouldn't do that!!any advise please should i stop thinking that or what! please respond back thank you

[bubbles]

I am 32, I have a 2 boys, the youngest is 5. I still have those feelings you talked about.... I dont like to be insecure but sometimes you just feel that way. My boyfriend is 27, and he acts quite immature sometimes, and I think hes looking constantly at younger women..... I am in school, I am going back to college actually, and I am looking forward to getting back to feeling more myself..... more self esteme.

[24glenda]

reply

thank you so much for your advice!! it really help me to understand..i just feel this way because i just gave birth 7 months ago and i just want to feel myself!!and confident!! thanks so much....

[EmotionsRvalid]

Beauty within

Dear 24Glenda First off this is a male oppinion. When I read your post I immediately thought of the movie the Secret. Specifically of a black lady who commented on growing up with wonder woman the bionic woman and charlies angels. She idolized them and wanted nothing more than to be like them. But she didn't look anything like them. For years she had relationships based on others showing her- her beauty. She wound up feeling insecure and anxious like maybe you've been feeling. Then she discovered her own beauty. Her full lips, mocha skin, and round hips. Once she discovered that it gave her her own sense of beauty and others found it as well. Personally I think she was happier and more confident. Some of my favorite people are happy, confident, loving etc. These people understand their own beauty and can be caught helping others to find theirs and are more beautiful because of it. I can't see what you look like but I can sense the passion or your emotion. Sweet heart- channel that emotion by thinking thoughts of LOVE about YOURSELF and others and beauty will become you! You have every right to feel the way you do and you have ALL the power you need to change it for the better. It's all in you right now! Did you feel that? --- GOOD! = ) Work it!