[mrsG]

Hi Ladies,

I'm new to this forum so hello to everyone.
I just wanted another woman's point of view to this question.
My husband spent around £1K on lapdancers on Friday night, but says he didn't do anything with them.
The thing I can't get my head round is that he says it's not cheating, but to me it is as he was thinking of another woman.
What is the general consensus on this?

Trying to figure out whether to call it a day or not......


Thanks for listening


MrsG

[missmouse]

Lap dances are WRONG!!! paying a naked womna to rub all over him and turn him on.. while he has a wife at home whom i am sure would do it for free is disgusting. its not teh strip club... tahts not so bad.. men are visual.. but taleast its a look but dont touch thig... lap dances.. they can touch.. well atleast where i live than can. you shoudl talk to him if it bothers you.. the way my husband nad i worked out this problme, was i would tsrip for him... atleast its free.. and it leads somewhere.. and i dont end up with hurt feelings about a woman rubbing all over him!

[Fallen1]

Is it cheating? Well that's a tough one to call - kind of gray. Some consider that it is some don't.

I'm with missmouse, him participating in that and having a wife at home is way out of line. If a guy is in a committed relationship, whether it be marriage or just a girlfriend I don't think he has any business doing such.

[Little]

One thousand pounds? Holy ****. I'm not really up on exchange rates, but I would be ticked at one hundred pounds.
What is cheating? One person can't tell another person what it is and isn't.
Cheating is when you've been "done wrong." It's when your stomach flips over and you can't hold down your lunch because you're so hurt. It doesn't matter if it's "because you're insecure" or whatever reason someone throws at you; it's YOUR perception. It's your hurt, and nobody should talk away your hurt.
But it isn't fair to your s/o if you've never had "the cheating talk" with him before. If you've never told him how you feel about strippers or lap dances. If you have, depending on what you said, he could either be in hot water or overdue for a LONG chat.
One thousand pounds ... it's against the rules for me to explain in the words I would like how much money that is, but let's just say I would attack an expletive to the word "ton." TOO MUCH. Unless you're rich. He's well overdue for a smackdown.

[dawn9800]

how much is that in america? like a guess Im just curious

IDK really what to say about this except that I agree with little have yall ever spoken about it before?

[rcoreyus]

1 thousand pounds is about 2000 american dollars!!!!! Assuming these are British pounds. Lots of other countries use pounds, and the exchange rate is very different.

Yikes, If he didn't get a lot more than a lap dance for that something else is very wrong. I'm really not up on prices for this sort of thing, but thought $2000 would get you a fairly high priced call girl for a night, not a couple of lap dances.

Personally I consider lap-dances wrong if you are in a committed relationship - but not as wrong as cheating.

[dawn9800]

Omg Thats Alot Of Money!

[Franny&Zooey]

Cheating is when you've been "done wrong." It's when your stomach flips over and you can't hold down your lunch because you're so hurt. It doesn't matter if it's "because you're insecure" or whatever reason someone throws at you; it's YOUR perception. It's your hurt, and nobody should talk away your hurt.

Agreed. Although, I think any man is going to play the ignorant card when he does something hurtful. "I'm sorry, you never told me I couldn't fool around with my secretary." If it's been implied, they get it. You just need to tell him now what is and isn't acceptable, period. Spell everything out for him in detail. There are somethings that you cannot compromise on, for the sake of your mental being.

The cheating is one issue, but the money?! I would be mad if my boyfriend spent over one hundred dollars on something without discussing it with me first. It's a waste. He could've saved his money and had you give him a lap dance AND a happy ending.

[rcoreyus]

Cheating is when you've been "done wrong." It's when your stomach flips over and you can't hold down your lunch because you're so hurt. It doesn't matter if it's "because you're insecure" or whatever reason someone throws at you; it's YOUR perception. It's your hurt, and nobody should talk away your hurt.
.

There are levels of hurt. I think gettin a lap dance is offensive and wrong - but (to most people) not nearly as wrong as actually having sex with someone else. I don't want to weaken the meaning of cheating by applying it to things that are less serious.

As I've said before though, I don't really have a sense of jealousy so I may not feel this the way others do.

[sweetie27]

I'm always curious in this situation how a man would react if his woman was in that setting. I think 9 times out of 10 we can all guess.