[tammy1979]

I see that alot of women are going thru this, I have asked and asked for him to stop that it makes me feel bad about how I look and I do not look that bad, because I can never be the way those girls are. He has signed up to a sight that downloads pictures everyday and he is getting up early in the morning to look at them. Any ideas on how I should handle this I know I should just let it go as boys will be boys but that is just not working for me. We have been married 22 years and have 4 wonderful daughters and a grandchild on the way.

[Fallen1]

...... because I can never be the way those girls are......

You have to understand one thing about "those girls". Just about everything you see is not real whether it is just pictures or a porn film clip. The greater majority of those girls have had surgery of some kind or another to look the way they do - breast enlargement, tummy tucks, liposuction. Also there is the option to edit film. Film is "edited" to touch up and cover up the flaws of the actors/models. Don't compare yourself to something that isn't realistic.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

A common issue in this does seem to be the woman comparing herself to the artificial women... I find this a little bit strange, simply because prettier women than you exist, and always have. Men are seeing and imagining pretty women all the time, porn is just a tangible part of what happens naturally anyway... And what that means is that they've compared you to others already, and are still with you, because they want to be.

[rcoreyus]

I see that alot of women are going thru this, I have asked and asked for him to stop that it makes me feel bad about how I look and I do not look that bad, because I can never be the way those girls are. He has signed up to a sight that downloads pictures everyday and he is getting up early in the morning to look at them. Any ideas on how I should handle this I know I should just let it go as boys will be boys but that is just not working for me. We have been married 22 years and have 4 wonderful daughters and a grandchild on the way.

I don't think he is comparing you to what he sees on the screen. People used to worry that children would see cartoons, and try to jump off buildings or hit each other over the head with hammers - would not be able to tell real from fake. Didn't happen, they knew what was real and what wasn't. Same applies to porn. Most men know the difference between real women and the fake women (make of silicone, makeup and lighting), and only view them as a fantasy.

I'm not saying if his wathcing porn is OK or not, (that has been discussed to death in these groups), just saying that he probably isn't comparing.

[Guest]

I don't think he is comparing you to what he sees on the screen.

rcore is right - it's not that he's comparing them, he's choosing them. it's the women left behind that compare themselves & wonder what they need to do to to get chosen by their husbands over the girls in porn.