[chelseyk]

I'm a 21 yr old female and I have one child. My husband (commonlaw)
has cheated on me in the past. I don't trust him he has physicaly abused me and emotionally abused me too. I have been with him for like 5 years.
He drinks only on weekends and always wants to go out, and Im stuck at home, He never wants to do anything with me. I feel all alone. I don't have any friends. and you know when the weekend comes around I want to hang out with him. Then to top it off he goes to a strip club today and lies to me about it! help I need advice what should I do?

[rcoreyus]

I'm a 21 yr old female and I have one child. My husband (commonlaw)
has cheated on me in the past. I don't trust him he has physicaly abused me and emotionally abused me too. I have been with him for like 5 years.
He drinks only on weekends and always wants to go out, and Im stuck at home, He never wants to do anything with me. I feel all alone. I don't have any friends. and you know when the weekend comes around I want to hang out with him. Then to top it off he goes to a strip club today and lies to me about it! help I need advice what should I do?

I'm sorry about your situation.
If he abuses you, you should leave. If that isn't practical immediately, find some friends - maybe other people with similar aged children for yours to play with. Most abusers try to isolate their victims so they have no where to run.

[LadyLane]

There are only two options, really.

1) Leave with your child. Do you have any friends or relatives that you could stay with and feel safe with? People who you trust who won't tell him where you are?

2) Stay, and nothing will change.

[mamado65]

I'm a 21 yr old female and I have one child. My husband (commonlaw)
has cheated on me in the past. I don't trust him he has physicaly abused me and emotionally abused me too. I have been with him for like 5 years.
He drinks only on weekends and always wants to go out, and Im stuck at home, He never wants to do anything with me. I feel all alone. I don't have any friends. and you know when the weekend comes around I want to hang out with him. Then to top it off he goes to a strip club today and lies to me about it! help I need advice what should I do?

Hi Chelsey: Im very sorry you are having to go thru this... I can tell you I was married to a man for 25 years and lived thru verbal abuse, we had two boys together and me and my boys pratically lived in ours rooms all time.. always trying to avoid arguments or us scared that daddy was going to find something wrong in anything we did... nothing was ever good enough.... I stayed with him because im the type person when i took my wedding vows and it said for better or for worse i put my faith in that... i was totally true to this man... de didnt go to strip clubs and all but in the end he cheated on me with a 21 yr old and left me... I can see the damage this verbal abuse has done to my kids... and I know you want your family together but the way i see it think of you and your kids happiness... and if your husband loves you he will get some help... good luck to you with all this and most of all put your faith in the LORD cause girlfriend if I didnt believe there was a GOD i wouldve killed myself when my ex left.... but you know what he aint worth it.... just pray and believe... I will pray for you... take care of yourself....

[24glenda]

leave himmmmmmmmmmmm

its true you should leave him for once. guys like him should not even be alive seriously man...leave him for onces.....

[stillkickin]

I see that you've gotten some good advice, though it's easier said than done isn't it?

First you need to decide what would be best for you and your child, if he is hitting you, that is not good for you or your baby....and I will say NOT ACCEPTABLE. If that means leaving then you need to make a plan:

*That may mean looking for a job
*Going back to school
*Asking for help from relatives or friends
*Going to a shelter

But most of all knowing in your heart what is the best and most positive thing that you can do for your own self respect and your child. YOU have to know that the way things are going is not what you want for yourself. When you know...then take action.

It's hard, but thousands of women have done it ....and you can too!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't tolerate any abuse

Hi Chelsey: Im very sorry you are having to go thru this... I can tell you I was married to a man for 25 years and lived thru verbal abuse, we had two boys together and me and my boys pratically lived in ours rooms all time.. always trying to avoid arguments or us scared that daddy was going to find something wrong in anything we did... nothing was ever good enough.... I stayed with him because im the type person when i took my wedding vows and it said for better or for worse i put my faith in that... i was totally true to this man... de didnt go to strip clubs and all but in the end he cheated on me with a 21 yr old and left me... I can see the damage this verbal abuse has done to my kids... and I know you want your family together but the way i see it think of you and your kids happiness... and if your husband loves you he will get some help... good luck to you with all this and most of all put your faith in the LORD cause girlfriend if I didnt believe there was a GOD i wouldve killed myself when my ex left.... but you know what he aint worth it.... just pray and believe... I will pray for you... take care of yourself....

Hi Chelsey, i also always avoided arguments but they came fast and thick and for no reason. I also stayed, gee i waited so long to marry, hoping it would be for ever, as that is what i believed in, and god trust me when i say, i did everything to change it. I though it must have been the previous relationships, if i could just show him i was different he could be himself...

You are young. your children are important, you are important.

And i agree, he is not worth it.

You can do this, you deserve it... leave.