[Dina]

I have a major problem with my current fiance. I love him to pieces and he, even more. Theres a catch however. There always is. His dog is a 100 lb pit bull mastiff (i think thats how you spell it) and he is absolutely the most annoying messiest, shedding dog I can think of! Not to mention he lives with us. When we first met it was great, we did everything together and always had time to do them. We had no time frame. Now, if we want to go on a raod trip or just spend some time together, his dog is always in our faces, or wants to eat or needs to be taken out. I understand there are some responsibilities that come with owning a pet but it has put such a toll on our relationship, I have come to a dead end and I am starting to lose interest and I dont want to because hes everything I ever dreamed a man could be.....except for his dog. I dont know what to do. His dog has overwhelmed my life so much, I spend anywhere from 4-6 hours twice a week just cleaning after him. His hair is everywhere! On our furniture, clothes, cars and everywhere you can think of. I have spoken to my fiance about this and he loves his dog to peices and he says he cant get rid of him. I dont know how else to deal with the situation. Can you help?

[anonymouswhitefemale]

The bond between a man and his animal can be a strong one... I'm a cats guy myself, but I know if any woman said I had to get rid of my cat or she'd leave, I'd ask her to close the door on her way out.

I don't know if it would be necessarily that I'd love the cat more than her, but I'd certainly think less of a girl that would be so selfish as to try and deprive you of that family bond (and it is like family).

However, I hate dogs, and I especially hate pitbuls, they're disgusting animals. And I certainly wouldn't live with one. If you don't find it repulsive, and you literally don't like cleaning up after it, then make your man do it! The animal is his responsibility, he can't really expect you to do it all.

I think you've got to see how far he's willing to make the effort to not let the dog intrude on your life, and if you really think you can live with such a horrible dog.

But saying "it's the dog or me" is practically shooting yourself in the face.

[LadyLane]

Well first off owning a dog is about the same as having a child, except for one thing. When you go on vacation, people volunteer to watch your child, and no one ever wants your dog, lol. I am a total dog person, myself. So it does make spontaneous things less spontaneous, but I think its sweet that you have a man that was willing to commit to a responsible relationship (pet ownership) before you even came along. That's a plus, right?

First off, I know about the hair. It can be a nightmare!! The worst. The dog sounds like he needs more grooming and brushing. Daily brushing can help tremendously with the shedding - dogs can shed excessively because of temperature changes and stress. Baths twice a month can help also. There are also pills if he REALLY sheds badly. I can't imagine that eating twice a day and being walked an average of four times a day or so is that damaging to your relationship. Maybe the dog isn't on a schedule? That's an area where you'd be able to help. Most dogs eat in the morning and at night, or just in the morning with occasional treats in the daytime, and need to be walked when they wake up, if you've left them more than five hours, and before bed. If the walks are long and productive, meaning the dog is tired, he shouldn't be bounding all over you when he's indoors.

You went into the relationship knowing that he had a dog... you say he's a perfect man except that he owns a dog? I'd keep him, if that were the case, because perfect men don't pop up all that often. The dog won't live forever.

Oh Anon.... my sister and brother-n-law have the most wonderful pitbull you've ever seen. I had believed each and every horror story I've ever heard about pits and read her the riot act, but he was a rescue dog and is nothing but a big simpering baby who wants to cuddle and be pet. He changed my mind. My sister still won't leave him alone in a room with her toddlers, which in my book is true for any breed, they are after all animals with animal instincts. But they pull his ears and secretly feed him under the table and he is actually a wonderful family dog. Mastiffs are a different breed altogether - more like a squatter, more muscular boxer.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

To be honest, I don't really know the difference between rottwielers, pitbulls, boxers... etc.

I generally view stocky muscular agressive/violent slobbering dogs the same... I'm sure they can be fine, I just find them supremely ugly, irrespective of how they act... But in england after a baby got savaged by a dog of this type I think you need a liscence to own them...

[rcoreyus]

You went into the relationship knowing that he had a dog... you say he's a perfect man except that he owns a dog? I'd keep him, if that were the case, because perfect men don't pop up all that often. The dog won't live forever. .

But he will want another. I think dog lovers remain dog lovers. This could be a stress in the relationship forever.

[LadyLane]

I know that sounded kind of mean, it was a joke. But most dogs don't live more than twelve years or so.

I also have to disagree... getting a puppy "together" is different to some people. It's theirs together - like a pre-baby type thing. Heck, people have had custody battles over who gets the dog in the end.

[JCasio]

You shouldn't make him choose between you and the dog because he's going to choose his dog. If he's had the dog before you then he will choose the dog.

Is it really that demanding on your relationship??

I don't want to make judgements but you seem like you're being selfish what's going to happen when you decide to have children? Children are more demanding than pets. Besides one dog...my fiance has TWO dogs and I love them both but I would NEVER have him choose between his dogs or me...that's just selfish, in my opinion.

[haillei]

Dog

The dog should not be a problem if you could try to talk it out with him. You have accepted the fact that he has a dog when you met. You have even mentioned something about it was okay at first. You may want to talk about what things you could do and try to negotiate something in the middle and have a win-win situation.