[marines_wife]

I found out in December that my husband was watching porn and we talked about it and he just said if he was going to do it then he would keep it off the computer so i wouldnt have ti run accross it.I was ok with that he's a man.Well last month i was looking at the cell phone bill and it was like 2 and a half pages of nothing but porn on it and that really got to me.He came back this month and the computer had videos and stuff on it.H im doing this haa made me feel like i'm not doing enough for him and not pleasing him good enough.The amount is was really gets me to but i thought maybe it was because we didn't see each other for almost 2 months.It just grosses me out that he watches that.It just really bothers me and makes me feel like complete **** but he says it has nothing to do with me.After i found out we were getting ready to have sex and i thought about him watching them and it made me sick i could do it.then amount of atraction for him has went down after i found those 2 and a half pages and i love him with all my heart that hasn't changed but i don't know what to do.Help Me!

[kaylar]

This is very serious because it is an addiction.
It isn't someone watching this once and a while
with a half of an eye, this is someone who is so
engrossed in this that if it were gambling or
alcohol or drugs, you'd know what you were up
against.

Porn addiction has different facets.
At one branch is the man who is considering
going on the downlow.
He is not looking at the females, he's looking
at the male.

At the other branch is an extremely depressed
person who is watching this as if it is cartoons.

In the center are those who have become obsessed
with watching sex, in various permutations.

(I've leaving out kiddie porn here)

I would ignore the entire thing for the next
thirty days. See where he goes from that.
Then you make up your mind if you can
deal with this.

[rcoreyus]

I think it has nothing to do with you - most men use porn the way a woman would use a vibrator - as a masturbation aid.

If he is spending a lot of money on it (which it sounds like he might be), or if he is spending less time with you due to the porn, that is much more serious. He may be addicted.

[Guest]

It just really bothers me and makes me feel like complete ****

this is the reality that your husband needs to understand.

many will try to encourage you to accept his behavior in sacrifice of your own convictions. few people will tell him to sacrifice his behavior for the sake of your convictions.

it really doesn't matter who it's about. it bothers you - so it becomes about you.

become educated about pornography & the impact it has on its consumers. decide what you can & can't take - then give him the benefit of revealing all of that to him, leaving no stones unturned.

[Little]

Unfortunately, porn is very much a part of the military lifestyle ... probably much bigger than the civilian lifestyle, since the men are generally away from their families and loved ones, in strange places, and often told that no woman is to be trusted ... so what better than a virtual woman?
But if it bothers YOU and since it's YOUR husband, you should make sure to remind him that it's not his porn-loving buddies/enablers he's married to, it's YOU.
It hurts you and therefore it's hurting your marriage. It is something he can change. Maybe to soften the blow, you can offer him some videos of you in erotic situations?
It's hard to be away from the one you love (I'm right here with you!) especially if you have to worry whether his affection for you is getting replaced by affection for someone/something else. Good luck!

[marines_wife]

The other night we bought a vibrator to try something different and he had already came and i just was going to use it but he said he didn't like that i wouldn't be getting mine from him.I was thinking to myself how does he think i feel that he's getting his from watching other women and when i get mine from that i'm thinking about him.that really made me mad.

[Fallen1]

If you feel that way you should have told him, let him know how you feel.


You could always tell him that you'd give up your vibrator when he gives up his porn.

[marines_wife]

I was thinking that too. I don't even like that thing i just got it because i thought if i did some of the things in those videos maybe he want watch them.

[Fallen1]

I was thinking that too. I don't even like that thing i just got it because i thought if i did some of the things in those videos maybe he want watch them.

Don't "pattern" yourself after those videos, especially if it's not something you are comfortable with.

[Krysteen]

Why

Have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know how it makes you feel. If he's uncomfortable watching you with the toy, let him know it's the same thing with his porn. You are both using it to satisfy yourselves. He might get the point ans ease up or stop watching. Try and have him stop before he gets to be a real addict from watching online, to phone to actually visiting the porn stores during the day,,, trust me I always see cars parked in those establishments during the day, and it caters to men who have afew hrs to drop in and enjoy a peek or two. BUT talk to him and let him know you are uncomfortable with him watching and how it makes you feel like you are not enough for him. Suggest maybe watching together if that's an option and he cannot watch alone,,,,, Good Luck