[Guest]

Don't "pattern" yourself after those videos, especially if it's not something you are comfortable with.

i couldn't agree more - nothing wrong with spicing things up as long as it's what you both want.

but if you're trying to compete with porn, you'll find yourself on a treadmill with no destination. it's like trying to defeat your spouse's heroin addiction by stocking the shelves with better groceries. porn & intimacy are feeding two different needs & they go in opposite directions.

[marines_wife]

I saw on computer today more videos and that was it i asked him if he watches those things everytime i leave and he said not all the time."i said you told me you didn't like me using the vibertor to get mine but i think about u when i use it and u watch other women to get urs" and he said he wouldn't watch them anymore but i don't really believe him.When he came home from work you could tell he felt really bad but im going to see what happens.I think all of you for your help it really has helped me out a lot.

[C]

Just try working with him one day at a time....Remind him of it and praise him when he stays away from it...It is just a real bad habit that he has gotten into. Hopefully with your help and physical love, plus support, I think you can win...Much luck....C

[Faedominae]

I was in a relationship like that where the man seemed to be watching porn every moment I left. I felt like **** like I wasnt good enough. I too tried to do what they did and make him more into me thinking if I was more like them he would want me more. Thats not the case. If you try to compete with porn and porn stars then you are only enabling him, and giving him an entry to make you something you arent. He is the one who needs to realize the difference between fantasy and reality.

[renfroe1012001]

i agree with you on this

I was thinking to myself how does he think i feel that he's getting his from watching other women and when i get mine from that i'm thinking about him.that really made me mad.

I agree with you on this my husband does the same thing but he says that he doesn't. Like he made a promise to me that he wouldn't look at pron anymore then the next time that I was working and he wasn't I cam home and found his jacking off rag he has moved and porn on the computer. Our sex life is really dieing because of this, and I don't know how to fix that problem. It gets really old being put second to porn in his life. So I understand I get very mad about that easly

[LoverofSEX]

Your hubby needs help he is already deeply into porn, if you two go to a church have him check out the mens ministry if the church has one or talk to one of the pastors maybe they could start a mens accountability group. It helps at least it has for me, if there is a Promise Keepers gathering in your area encourage him to attend.

[guppie]

I came home and caught my boyfriend jerking off to porn once too. I told him it made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him and I couldn't please him. We actually talked about it and he said he understood. This is what he had to say:
"You're wonderful everything with you is great! Watching porn I find new moves and positions (which honestly I believe), and jerking off relieves stress. It's nothing to do with you."
Maybe I'm wrong, but I agreed with him. There are days where I'm stressed, and masturbate and feel a whole lot better. When I do that, it has nothing to do with him.
I also believe that if he was jerking off all the time and I weren't getting any sex, then it would be different. But our sex life has actually gotten better. He got me to watch it one time and I enjoyed it. We don't always have to watch porn to have sex, but sometimes it's a nice lead up.