[kimi666]

well my fiance is good looking sucessfull but is currently depressed has four kids from a previouse marrige all young (under 10) and debts and his ex is a cow , i arent happy im lonley cos he is always tierd and falls asleep only up point is the sex but i feel i cant leave him i was offerd the most amasing job but cant doit bcos the hours dont suit honestly i dont wana sound like a cow but im still young i want to futher my carrear have fun but mostly meet a man that hasnt done it all before the marrige and the kids i wnt it t be new and exciting but e alredy done it and he doesnt understand that it may b differrennt everytime but i dont want to help bring up some elses kids and it kills me cos they are great kids but they arent mine but all this adds to no pont in even trying right?
but cos of his state of mind i dont feel i can leave him can ne1 help or ru in a similar situation n just want to talk im 18 n desperate xx

[AfterChildren]

You are young, you have had a good job oppertunity that you let go because you wanted to spend time with you fiance, you state that you do not want to raise someone else's kids and he has four young children, you say that the only thing going in the relationship is the sex and you are worried about leaving him because of his mental state. You should be worried about you. You are not happy with any of the parts of your relationship with this man, you are lonely, and you want to enjoy life while he has already played the game and is losing. You deserve much better, a chance to expierience life and motherhood - on your own terms and not be forced into it, diffrent job oppertunities, and a man that is fresh and new not, as you are implying, old and used.
I am sure that he is a wonderful man, but he sounds like he comes with just a little too much baggage that you are not ready to handle. You have to follow your heart, not my advice. I wish you luck in your situation and in life.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I'm a guy.

I know it's easier said than done, but you really do need to put your own needs first. You aren't going to have a fulfilling life if you stay where you are, and if you do stay - even if your life IS fulfilling, you will still always wondered what you missed/lost from your decision to stay. Which to be honest will probably make you resent this man, subconciously or not.


I think you need to leave him. I know he's going to suffer, but I don't think you can be expected to raise someone elses children. Call me selfish but the responsibilities of raising a child are a total pain in the bum... I wouldn't go through that if it's not my blood... I'd go elsewhere and raise my own...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree

I'm a guy.

I know it's easier said than done, but you really do need to put your own needs first. You aren't going to have a fulfilling life if you stay where you are, and if you do stay - even if your life IS fulfilling, you will still always wondered what you missed/lost from your decision to stay. Which to be honest will probably make you resent this man, subconciously or not.


I think you need to leave him. I know he's going to suffer, but I don't think you can be expected to raise someone elses children. Call me selfish but the responsibilities of raising a child are a total pain in the bum... I wouldn't go through that if it's not my blood... I'd go elsewhere and raise my own...

When i was 17, i left home, needed a job, so i became a Nanny. The guy thought that i was 23, plus i had long blonde hair, thin and if i can say not bad looking, so i know, that played a part, well i established that along the way.

The point is, i was doing something way over my head, at way to young an age, living in my own room, and no i never slept or went out with the father, but i cared for a 6 and 8 year old girl. I cooked, clean, i was the "mother".

I couldn't cope, i bought a cat, and that's when i realised i had to go, i was searching for something a receptionist job came up and i went and located a nice 2 bedroom flat, took the cat, the job and never ever looked back. Other people's children can wait, but actually, it was more of any children can wait. I was, 17...

Again, the point being you are 18. It's easy to fall for "lust" but you are at the beginning of a whole new world. A whole new excitment in friends, work, interests, and men.

So, don't feel bad, if sex is all you have, you'll have that again....

Take the job... Take your life, you only live once....