Husband - never content

**Stillness** · 06-02-2015, 03:05 PM

Has he always been that way?

**CapeCRunner** · 06-02-2015, 04:15 PM

I know he doesn't enjoy his job... He hates it... I feel bad because I'm not in his shoes with that and it's a place he has to go every day... I always listen and have been supportive of whatever decision he intends to make... But lately he's been going on and on to a point where I'm zoning out.
So yes he's always been discontent with work, but maybe it's worse than I thought and that's why now he's going on about it more.
And he wants to lose a few pounds, which I don't think he needs to but he wants to do of course I'll support him in that too. I don't know if I'm just tired and having a baby has lessened my patience in listening to him or not. I can't tell.
And honestly there isn't a real problem. I feel bad for complaining at all because we have a great relationship. I just feel like he would enjoy himself more if he just enjoyed the 'here and now ' a little more.

**a_dub** · 06-03-2015, 03:00 PM

Just tell him that. See what he says. He obviously doesn't think he's going on ad nauseum, so just let him know. Key is communication!

**atskitty2** · 06-04-2015, 04:35 AM

Well, I have several thoughts on this and I'll try to be brief.

I think, likely, your post baby hormones, change in responsibility and priority shift is probably why you're more annoyed with his musings than usual. Your focus has shifted to baby for awhile.

I also think he may be having a sort of crisis within himself about being unhappy at work, but feeling stuck in it, for fear if he fails trying to do something else, he would be unable to provide for not only you, but his child. I think his need to be a super provider has probably kicked in now that he's a daddy, and maybe he's questioning if he is doing all he can, while struggling with the job he's unhappy in...etc. Maybe he regrets not changing jobs before he had the additional responsibility of the baby.
I don't know, but I imagine his manly, "must-provide" instinct is driving this increase in discussions.
Do you think? Talk to him about it.

And I can't remember my third point....I'll have to come back later.

How is little Jack anyway?

**atskitty2** · 06-04-2015, 04:48 AM

I remembered as soon as I posted....

I think his desire to lose weight can also coincide with that whole instinct of providing and taking things a bit more seriously. Staying healthy and active, to maintain his ability to provide and raise the kids and set good examples...All those things.

My brother went thru smth similar when his second was born. He is a high functioning alcoholic. When he was about to have his second, he quit drinking, lost probably 50-60 pounds and went for a promotion at work, and got it. He changed. He grew up in a different way and took life a little more seriously. He's maintained this for nearly 10 yrs now, so, it was truly a change within him.

It sounds a bit archaic maybe, sexist maybe, but I do believe we have those different drives within us.

**Motorguy** · 06-05-2015, 06:17 PM

I agree with A dub communication is the key here Cape. I have the same issue with Donna when she has a rough week. She will come home and rant and raves about her job that it sucks and hates it. So I will make her dinner and rub her feet. Then pour some wine for the both of us and let her try and relax so she tells me her issue of work. Then I give her ideas and by the time for dinner and a dip in hot tub and Donna is relax and forgot all her day issues. So my feeling just let hubby vent and tell him then how you feel about it all. So discuss it together then. But anyway how is little Jack doing by way I bet growing like a weed.

**CapeCRunner** · 06-11-2015, 12:18 PM

Thanks all for the responses. I feel so bad sounding negative about Ron because he's just an awesome husband.
I can totally agree with what people said about the way me as a woman and he as a man might react. I've done better of putting myself in his shoes and I have been more patient, and have been more empathetic when he needs to vent. I want him to be happy with his career.
And even though he still wants to lose weight I cooked one of his favorite things to eat ( yes, spaghetti and meatballs) and a lot of it and bought him butter pecan ice cream.
Thinking about binge buying a jacuzzi but not sure if I should lol. We need some romance and since neither of us want to leave Jack here at home, maybe staying in and relaxing out in a tub with a baby monitor would be a good replacement.
Jack is just amazing for lack of a stronger adjective. I can't get enough of his chubby cheeks and chubby arms and legs.

**Motorguy** · 06-13-2015, 01:37 PM

No problem Cape, any time. When you are married you going to have a rough patches. That's a given it's how you handle it all that makes it all better with each other. But I would give the two thumbs up on the jacuzzi as a real good idea. This allows for more fun with Ron wink wink . Plus adds more romantic side of what you can do in the jacuzzi lol. But the biggest and best idea you never have to leave little Jack 😄 with a sitter and you can have loads of fun with each other as well lol. 😋😎

**CapeCRunner** · 06-15-2015, 01:01 PM

Haha thanks again for the input! I'll let us know if I can talk him into getting one... It's been on our wish list pretty much since we bought a house but just hasn't happened yet 😀

Husband - never content

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