[amy40]

Dream
article in my inbox from my Oprah signup
guessing your fighting person is Type III: The Toxically Insurgent

They are belligerent by choice and people want to avoid them.

To deal with type 3, don't respond or accommodate them and isolate them from others if possible, unless they act civil.

[atskitty2]

I think that's exactly what I would do, in the case of the woman on vaca. I wouldn't go out of my way to wake her intentionally, but I would also not change my plan or inconvenience myself to accommodate her preferences, had she not made those known ahead of time. It's my vacation too! And that's exactly what I'd tell her if she complained. Maybe she doesn't know herself well enough to realize she's different, or she's too selfish to care.

And as for the other woman, usually those folks hush when there's nobody to help fuel their fire. I ignore them, don't participate in it, and call them on their BS when it's blatant in my face, and said to me. That's damaging to the family, and I wouldn't entertain her spouting. She's free to hold her opinion, and I'd be respectful of it. I won't, however, stand and listen to someone stir drama and cause trouble in my family, if I know of what I speak. That keeps my life pretty peaceful and drama free.
Of course, my family isn't close-we all hardly talk-so, there's not a lot of that happening with any of us. There used to be, as I think I referenced above, but not in recent years.