[Texasred]

Courtney, let me keep this short: he's not just joking around, he's an *hole and you can do better. Anyone who'd tell you he's with you just for the sex is an *hole.

Or has a very very strange sense of humor.

[jenifercox]

Hi there. How are you? Being a girl, I can totally understand your feelings. If he met your parents and you met his parents then don't worry. Might be he needs space this time. I think you should not worry. Boys do tease sometimes. If a boy meet girl's parents then it's a honor for the girl. I didn't get it that why he said himself. Why he said that he is just for sex. Might be he joking? No? What was his reaction while saying these words? Stay Happy. I hope you get marry with him soon. I wish you all the best. Good luck. Take care.

[Courtney Jayne]

Since I wrote my original post, a lot has happened. I now know that he is not just with me for sex and I need to accept that he is the kind of person who like to tease because he never means it. When he knows I am upset or over thinking something he's said, he assures me he was kidding. I've since met more of his family, I have been invited to a christening with him, I have been invited on a night out with his mum and her friends, he is taking me to my favourite place in the world that is monkey world which is 254.4 miles away from where we live. As well as all this, he has told me he will pay for my provisional driving license and my passport so he can take me on holiday. He loves me and I love him and apart from the ever so occasional joke, things couldn't be better, he is the most thoughtful and considerate man I have ever met and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him. Thank you, jenifercox, for your kind words xx

[jns]

The family functions indicate to me that he is serious about you. He does have some rough edges that you will have to learn to deal with. Best wishes.

[easygoing]

Hope it all goes well for you both.

[Texasred]

Sounds like a match made in heaven...

[atskitty2]

Well, Courtney, I do hope that this good path continues.
Please just keep your eyes open, remembering that this is a very new relationship, and things aren't always as they seem to be at first. Things always "cool off" after awhile together. We all put our best foot forward in the early stages. Be mindful of the foundation being laid here, that it's one of mutual respect and affection, not dependence.
Give us an update soon! Enjoy the trip!

[EliseJane98]

Hi there, what you're going through sounds exactly like the experience my friend just went through with her ex-boyfriend. Unlike with her, I'm going to be honest with you.

If he told you he is only with you for sex, believe him. If it's one of those things he likes to "joke" about, why would you want to be with someone like that?

You said "I can't help but feel defensive from your replies because he isn't always like this. The majority of the time he's so loving he makes me the happiest I've ever been, he's just the kind of guy that likes joking around."

You've struggled with many issues for years, and recently went through something very traumatic. I have to say, you are a very, very brave person for still being here today, but it may be that you feel your happiest with this man simply because he gives you the slightest bit of love/affection/support. You may be clinging to this relationship because of this, and dismissing all of his bad behaviour and nasty treatment. As you said yourself, "my life has never been easy and at the moment he is the only person in my life who I can fully relax with and feel genuinely happy around." I promise you that there are people out there you can relax and feel happy around, and they won't ever be cruel to you.

He is not the kind of guy that likes joking around. He is being cruel with you. Before my friend started dating her boyfriend, he tricked her into thinking he liked her, and then told her he was just joking and it wasn't real. But it was very real for her, because she had liked him for ages - he knew it, and he totally played on her insecure feelings.

Usually meeting his family and friends - has he introduced you to any friends he has? - is a good sign, but in this case, you cannot ignore the way he treats you. I'm glad however that you're also being supported by his family.

I wonder if you are able to go to counselling - I highly suggest it, no one should have to go through what you're going through alone. If you cannot afford it, there may be free online or call services.

In terms of your relationship, please always let him know when you don't like how he treats you - how does he respond? Does he want you to stop talking about it because it's "stupid/silly", or complains that you're always starting fights? That's the second sign he doesn't respect you (the first is treating you badly in the first place).

He is a man who knows that he can treat you however he **** wants, and all he has to do is tell you he loves you to make it all better. You don't need to be scared at the idea of not having him in your life, because look at everything you have survived all by yourself already. You're 4 months into the relationship - by now he should know exactly how you wish to be and not be treated.

[Texasred]

What Elise said. Joking is one thing, being an anus is another.
Your boyfriend is the latter.

[Courtney Jayne]

My boyfriend and I are currently doing really well. I've expressed to him that sometimes his joking around upsets me and he's stopped, if he does find himself saying things that upset me without him realising, he apologizes to me and takes into consideration that I don't always like it when he does it. I saw the man who assaulted me whilst out shopping with my boyfriend's mother a few weeks ago and my boyfriend was very supportive of me. He told that if I ever saw him again that I should ring him and he would be there no matter what to make sure I was okay and felt safe. Although he likes to joke around, the more I spend time with him and his family, the more I see that he jokes around with everyone, not just me. He hasn't joked with me since I told him how I felt - in fact he's become more sensitive and protective over me. I say protective and I don't want any of you to think I mean that in an overbearing way, I just mean that he never wants me to feel that way again and he goes out of his way to make sure I'm okay. He is definitely not just with me for sex and I know this because if he was, then we would be having sex every time we see each other, which we're not. This weekend for instance, we've both had a lovely weekend without having sex. We've cuddled and been out for dinner and we even sat and watched my favourite film which is and old film that came out in 1953, he didn't have to sit and watch it but he did because he knows it's my favourite. His family are amazing, they think of me as part of the family now which is lovely, I was even invited to his grandparents wedding anniversary and I've been invited to his dad's wedding in a few weeks. I think that since I saw the man who assaulted me, he's realised how difficult every day life is for me and he's been absolutely amazing and I'm not just saying that because he's my boyfriend, I'm saying it because it's the truth. He didn't need to stick around once I'd told him how messed up my life has been so far but he did. He's there for me when I wake up in the middle of the night having dreamt about my attacker and he's there for me if I'm just having an off day. He wants to build my confidence and help me.