[CHANDLERS WISH]

[/b]

You know Anon I can fire back with you and disagree with you but truthfully I am not used to dealing with someone that has your type of mouth....There are posters here that are not here anymore because of the barbs you can say and I am sure I can send them back but I often wonder what is inside a person that is so ready to fire his bullet for a low blow...As for me, I just don't like low blows and I am sick of it.....

Hey C, whilst the topic obviously is different, i too didn't get the Cybersex bit of the initial thread... Got it after the question though... And you still have valid points that she may read and discover this is why she is doing the Cyberspace/sex thing to start with....

It's all good....

Just my thoughts, ignorance on subjects sometimes is horrid until clarrified, so i can see she's cheating, she's engaged, he doesn't know, i can even visualise her conversations what are you wearing? Well can't talk about anyone visualisations that i can see in her conversations here now can i?

Just letting you know, i was nieve to the thread as well when i read it, so that makes two of us...

Feel better?

CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Relax Caroline, you're so sensitive. When you come on the internet to voice your opinion, other people will voice theirs. That's just life.

Stop making out that I'm viciously attacking you - if I was you'd know it.


rcoreyus, I agree with you that anything is fine with the others' consent. Really, my pushing so hard against this was mainly due to the moral hypocrisy I saw, the world is a lot more flexible, and personally I wouldn't call it cheating. It's obviously a potential problem though.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Actually, i think it's a fine line where cheating is concerned.

Much like, flirting with someone else, over the internet and talking about sexual desires, you have to quit and say, sorry not discussing that with you, i am with someone...

I think if you converse back and it's the opposite sex, in that context then you are cheating of some sorts...

I have had a few "friends" from MySpace try to go down that path, of discussion of course trying to get into my pants, i'm not , but just saying, if i was "horney" and contributed to that conversation... To me that would be cheating, same if he did it, i'd feel gutted somewhat..... if i read it...

That's just my thoughts...

I know cheating is predominately "physical", but?

CW

[Fallen1]

I know cheating is predominately "physical", but?

CW

I have had this discussion with my guy before. He said the same, it's not cheating unless you actually are physically doing something. In a case such as described by the o/p he/I would just label it as being disloyal (but not any more acceptable than cheating).

And as rcoreyus and anon stated if it's something that someones s/o knows about and is ok with .......

[C]

I only now read the heading on the thread of being "engaged"...

Only this morning when I connected to this site did I read the heading to this thread.....I NEVER would have given the same answers to this thread that I did...Anon is entirely right and I was wrong...If she was engaged to this man, I would say she was cheating...I will join the rest on my answer....I read the post but not the heading...No where in the post did it say she was engaged....

Reading the words of this poster I thought she was possibly a very young person not yet aware of the awakenings of a woman...TC, C

[Uneeklyme]

Anon... I agree, a man might possibly be crucified here for asking the same question. A sad reality but a fact of life. On the other hand, you need to understand that you are posting on a womens site and most of the advice is going to come from women and most of it is going to be supporting the woman/woman's point of view. It's unfortunate that in the band of brothers attitude that women get men's thoughts and opinions don't seem to matter sometimes even when they are right. Having said that tho, not all women are like that and just because the ones that aren't might not have the same opinion or thought as a man on any given subject, it does not make them man haters/bashers. You have to admit, some men jump right to that conclusion if a womans opinion differs from theirs.

As far as the OP. Yes it's wrong and cheating emotionally if your man is not aware of it IMO. Irregardless of what sex your doing it with and if your engaged or not. Not engaged is not a free pass to infidelity. Use a toy or cyber with your man. Dont forget that when you cyber there is someone real on the other side telling you what s/he is doing or thinking of doing with/to you in real time. Porn has real people in it but there is no interaction between the watcher and the performer. No need to go into the peep shows and stuff like that, once it crosses over to that its no longer porn its prostitution. I feel that physically straying is sometimes easier to deal with than emotional cheating. Uh oh, I agreed with Anon and Rcorey. What does that do for my loyalty to women?

Caro... I read your sight because it lets me learn a little bit about you. It has nothing to do with any quest to learn what a woman can be. Often times I don't agree with you at all. I do admire you finding your "hot sexual self" and reveling in it. I respect you for that.

On any given day I can have a conversation with a woman that spews sexually more hard core than any man I have ever talked to. It's been my experience that woman can be just as if not more sexually explicit than men. Closet freaks.

[C]

Caro... I read your sight because it lets me learn a little bit about you. It has nothing to do with any quest to learn what a woman can be. Often times I don't agree with you at all. I do admire you finding your "hot sexual self" and reveling in it. I respect you for that.

On any given day I can have a conversation with a woman that spews sexually more hard core than any man I have ever talked to. It's been my experience that woman can be just as if not more sexually explicit than men. Closet freaks.

Uneeklyme: You have presented me with some words that must be addressed. But not here. I will not clutter this thread explaining myself...I will be doing this under the same Topic Husband/Fiance in my thread, "In Defense Of Myself"... Seeing your post will not go into my accolades folder, it does need to be answered. I would do it today but I have three letters I want to do to women who have written me that are far more important...I figured with as slow as the Forum is during the Summer, it just may bring on a few hits...I hope to have it on by Monday..My first venture today is to change the latest blog I put on here...I like to bring all of what I am into them...and this I will do. Truly I have too many things to say and this is not the thread to say them...

As far as any knowledge that I have already being known by all, I will back off. I made that decision yesterday...From now on I will be limiting my posting to another site and blogging..Here it will be very sparing..Let it be people like you to tell their story...I will blog and do my thing.

[Uneeklyme]

Uneeklyme: You have presented me with some words that must be addressed. But not here. I will not clutter this thread explaining myself...I will be doing this under the same Topic Husband/Fiance in my thread, "In Defense Of Myself"... Seeing your post will not go into my accolades folder, it does need to be answered. I would do it today but I have three letters I want to do to women who have written me that are far more important...I figured with as slow as the Forum is during the Summer, it just may bring on a few hits...I hope to have it on by Monday..My first venture today is to change the latest blog I put on here...I like to bring all of what I am into them...and this I will do. Truly I have too many things to say and this is not the thread to say them...

As far as any knowledge that I have already being known by all, I will back off. I made that decision yesterday...From now on I will be limiting my posting to another site and blogging..Here it will be very sparing..Let it be people like you to tell their story...I will blog and do my thing.

Caro...
Im sorry if you feel a need to defend yourself. I didnt mean it like that. I simply meant that I do read what you write and you have your opinions and tell the story of your discovery and it gives me insight into you and who/what you are. Thats not a bad thing. My not agreeing with you is not a bad thing either. If we were all yes men then the world would be a pretty boring place. We are all entitled to our opinions and thoughts and feelings. As I said once before, when you write them publicly you put yourself out there for comment even if you dont allow comments on your blog. You bring your blog here publicly. Anon and I butt heads more often than not but that does not mean (for me anyway) that I am right and he is wrong or visa versa or that he is a bad person or that I must appologize when what I write is taken out of context all the time. We just dont agree or think the same way on some things.

Its great that you bring all of you into your posts. I find you at times charming and meaningful. Your seemingly great life is one to strive for. I hope to be as happy and content as you seem to be when I am older. I dont pretend to of profess to know jack about anything and everything and you shine light on different points of view. However, again, I am perfectly within my right not to feel the same as you or agree with you. Its unfortunate that you would let that keep you from posting to this sight.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I have had this discussion with my guy before. He said the same, it's not cheating unless you actually are physically doing something. In a case such as described by the o/p he/I would just label it as being disloyal (but not any more acceptable than cheating).

And as rcoreyus and anon stated if it's something that someones s/o knows about and is ok with .......

Actually, "disloyal", is very appropriate.... Still, the problem there to me would be trust after, would it then go to the physical stage with someone else... would play havic in my mind... together with what am in not doing? As, this is verbal communiation in a way, one on one, not watching human bodies.....

Personally, in a relationship, i would not like it to occur at all.