[Nerd]

Caroline, she is not talking to other people about sex, to broaden her horizons. She is getting stimulated by sexual virtual sex with other women. There is a big difference, please re-read the thread so you can pick up on this. This has nothing to do with the "women are full of inhibitions, release the animal" spiel that you are going on about.

I would also like to ask you what the difference is if she's "cybering" with a man or a woman - someone else is someone else, be it hetro or homo sexual, cheating is cheating. Fair enough, most men will say off the cuff that they'd be happy for their partner to indulge in lesbian activity, but if they don't know about it, it will distress them basically as much as if it was a man. Also, this isn't like porn, there is a real person on the other end of it (and since you so vehemently disagree with porn so I cannot see how you could justify this). I will assume that you still don't know what the poster is talking about, and that we have our wires crossed.

Veering slightly off topic, you've said how you don't approve of your husband masturbating as you want to be his sexual all, and then you say something like: "when a woman has a very high sexual want level she must fulfill it somehow". I find it difficult to put up with blind hypocrisy. There isn't one set of rules for one gender, and a different set for the other, we must hold ourselves to the standards by which we judge. By any sort of average moral standard that this forum displays - this is cheating. Most women would be telling her to dump her man, as you can't be sure he'll be faithful, won't give you a disease, the dishonesty etc etc. however I have seen very little in the terms of telling this lady that she's doing the wrong thing.

Get it together.

I agree with you on this one, Anon.

[C]

Anon: Yes, I did reread it and I see where she said that she does this because she is horny....First she sounds young...Second, how do we know that she is not comparing her sexuality with theirs? She is young and still dealing with learning of her sexual emotions...When a woman is like this she thinks she is doing something bad and these are the feeling that I believe she is showing. She needs relief and is going to the only place she knows how to get it...It may be wrong but when it feels so good, it makes it right...Yes, she is talking and masturbating like a man would but she is NOT cheating...She is finding sexual relief....I don't believe that a married man on a Porn site is cheating...He is depriving his wife of what he is giving a woman but this I would not call cheating..I have said I would not tolerate this if my husband did this because I want what he has. It is not for another woman.

The Internet is a terrible place for a child to grow up...Yet they do...I see an innocent girl going on the sites to talk to other girls, perhaps my space, to talk sexual. This is something that the boys do in school but never the girls...We are too into ourselves and if we did we would never say the things that we truly want to say. She is both seeking relief with the guise of talking to friends and just plain getting off.

I will agree if she is willing to loose her boyfriend over this then get off. Even better if she is not ashamed of it, tell him. If she is worried then don't. But if this is the case, stay off...

When kids are young they are sexual...Both wanting and needing relief...Unfortunately at this early age in life they are also learning the wonderful lesson of the older generation that frequent sex begets more frequent sex...BUT unlike us, they just don't know how to handle it....It was with this thought in mind that I made my post....

[C]

If I was this girl I would tell my boyfriend that I really get horny and need to get off...So I go to the Internet and have this friend "Mary" and we talk sexual and tell dirty jokes...This way when you are not around I masturbate and jack off....What is wrong with this...It is not making sex something bad but something good...If he gets mad and says don't do it don't...BUT YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUAL FEELINGS INSIDE YOU.....LET THEM GROW....Sex should not be something hidden in the back closet and she is being normal....

After all she is not ordering pot or whatever else that people use to get high...She is finding the most sexual part of herself and bringing herself alive...Darn, I wish years ago we would have had these computer's...I would have never left the chair...

Now I am going to get out of here...Go ahead and burn me at the stake, I just don't care....If I am wrong in your eyes, then I am wrong....I can take it...I am not supposed to know about this stuff anyway so what do I have to loose.....Have a nice weekend....

[Nerd]

Caroline - here is an explanation of "cyber" sex:

Cyber sex is an alternative kind of sex that couples and singles alike are engaging in. The beauty of cyber sex is that you can remain totally anonymous and have some of the safest sex possible.

So whether you're in a long-distance relationship or you enjoy engaging in sexual fantasy over the Net, cyber sex can offer you a somewhat fulfilling sex life.

Start off by asking what she's wearing, then describe what you look like (if you don't have a camera that allows her to see you, then you can look like whomever you want). Then converse back and forth. Let her start a fantasy, then you continue it, and keep going back and forth until you both end up having sex in the fantasy.

Touch yourself
While there really are no rules when it comes to cyber sex, you're better off throwing yourself into the scene and surrendering to the fantasy. You may feel somewhat ridiculous ultimately masturbating to a computer at first, but if you can give in to the situation, then it can be a great experience.

If she can't see you, but you have a mic, breathe heavily on occasion to let her know that you're into the fantasy. Describe what you're doing to yourself, or, if you're engaging in a fantasy, what you're "doing" to her.

Can you say that you would be comfortable with your significant other engaging in such behavior with people, whether they be male or female, on the internet? Would you not consider this cheating - at least emotionally? Sure it's "virtual", but how does that differ from any other "emotional affair"? If someone is seeking what they should be getting from their partner from another person, I believe that by most definitions that is considered cheating.

I completely understand what you are saying about a young woman needing to embrace her sexuality and become comfortable with her needs and desires. However, I think it may be better in this case for it to happen with a real live person...like, oh say perhaps HER FIANCE.

[ChelseaRenee]

For the first time EVER, I agree with Anon, lmao. If this was a man having cybersex with strange women and jerking off, this would be the travesty of the century on here and he would be a dirty scumbag (which he would). But I believe the same thing of a woman talking dirty with other people online, male or female. Women do not just have special needs that need to be taken care of, no questions asked, anymore than men do. If she can do it, so can he. If a man would be a cheating piece of you know what for doing this, then...

I do not feel that she's just young and dumb and has a "sexual beast" inside her that needs to be released and this is the only way she feels comfortable doing it. And if that's true? Too bad. You have a boyfriend. Be sexual with him, and be faithful. Or be sexual with other people, and be a cheater, it's up to you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

She was talking about to talking to females, but the word "cyber" refers to cybersex.... If a guy posted here asking if it was fine to have cybersex with other men, or if it was a woman compaining that her partner was doing this, all hell would break loose. He'd be a disease carrying cheating scumbag.

See this is where i sooo love youth and their intelligence... WT? How am i meant to know about Cyber sex for goodness sake, lol...

I see.....

Learning something new everyday i feel, is a must...

Thanks...

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

When i read the thread, i didn't see the word Cybersex, well i did but didn't take it it.

As such, i asked the question, are you talking about your fiancee with a woman about sex...

Nieve? God, i never thought i was... Now? Well, it seems through the explanations of those in the know, um yep, on this occasion...

It posed a question to me though.

Sugar? Although it was one on one, and although emails were included with this "space", pertaining to work, life, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO was i having cybersex for the past 6 months?

If you love LMAO, imagine me nearly wetting myself now.... Nearly.....

with laughter about me?

Oh dear.... what is this world coming to... Thank god I've met him now is all i have to say.....

So, lol....

Sorry if he ever reads this, but if so, it's funny as.... in my situation....

CW

[C]

Caroline, before you put words into her mouth:

So basically, read her post, and don't assume what she's talking about (as you seem to do often).

You know Anon I can fire back with you and disagree with you but truthfully I am not used to dealing with someone that has your type of mouth....There are posters here that are not here anymore because of the barbs you can say and I am sure I can send them back but I often wonder what is inside a person that is so ready to fire his bullet for a low blow...As for me, I just don't like low blows and I am sick of it.....

[Fallen1]

For the first time EVER, I agree with Anon, lmao. If this was a man having cybersex with strange women and jerking off, this would be the travesty of the century on here and he would be a dirty scumbag (which he would). But I believe the same thing of a woman talking dirty with other people online, male or female. Women do not just have special needs that need to be taken care of, no questions asked, anymore than men do. If she can do it, so can he. If a man would be a cheating piece of you know what for doing this, then...

I do not feel that she's just young and dumb and has a "sexual beast" inside her that needs to be released and this is the only way she feels comfortable doing it. And if that's true? Too bad. You have a boyfriend. Be sexual with him, and be faithful. Or be sexual with other people, and be a cheater, it's up to you.

I'm right there with you Chelsea. Everything you just said (and Anon has stated on this) is how I feel on this.

If a man is a piece of chit doing it then a woman is also. A woman that has a higher sexual drive than her man has no more right to engage in certain activities than a man with a higher sexual drive has. As Anon said there isn't a set of rules for men and a different set for women.

[rcoreyus]

I think that with the agreement of your SO, almost anything is OK. But, if it has not been discussed and agreed, obtaining sexual gratification from someoe who is not your SO is wrong. I'm not going to worry about the semantics of exactly what should be called "cheating". The gender of any of the people involved doesn't change anything.

There is of course a fine line. If you go to an art museum with a friend and are turned on by Bernini's "Apollo and Daphne" I don't know if that counts. <g>