Long time no see in here. My journey the last years are to long to describe here. But I wanted to air something. If anyone remembers I had issues with my marrige sex life. After becoming suicidal and got some unexpected help when the system did not respond I've managed to come cope more. I'm still often depressed but the outlook is good I think. I have through this acknowledged that a part of this are relationship issues that remind me to my youth and being a victim of motherly abuse.
A little while ago after a long time trying to work on our marriage, and feeling alone about it I decided enough is enough. So I said it's done. Due to how things went we are still toghether.
But I still struggle with something that happend in this. because my wife threatend to kill herself and that I needed to explain that to our kids. When I managed to keep her in the house and stop what could have happened. I don't know to this day if the treat was real or not. But I keep thinking of this and how I feel Manipulated to stay in a marrige that I struggle to get the feeling back inn to. I still feel alone about realising the severity of our problems and that my wants and needs are far less important than hers.
I'm considering her threat and what I feel as manipulation prevents my emotions from growing towards her again.
I'm afraid to talk about this to her.
But would you guys think I can build feelings back without bringing this up again?
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