[umfleet88]

i am having problems at home. i am working full time at night. my daughter is giving me a hard time. she is 17 and thinks she knows it all.. my husband(not her father) doesn't help me much when it comes to her. he just complains about everything she says and does. no matter how small of a deal it is.. i tell him he is being childish and then he just acts more like a child. i asked him where he was earlier, he just says he don't have to answer to anybody. he is such an . i want to tell him to leave, but right now we only have one vehicle (his). that is the only reason i am trying to keep calm..
he is suppose to be getting another vehicle in the coming weeks.
when he does i am gonna tell him to go away... having one child is enough for me to deal with. i have ended up putting myself back into therapy. my daughter is in counseling herself. he is driving me crazy...
how can i deal with this....

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Yet another woman staying in a relationship that she shouldn't be in for the sole purpose of security.

It's sad.


As for what you should do - you should forget about his car and kick him out. He could well be one of the reasons your daughter is in therapy, is you childs mental health more important than a car?

[Sweet Lady]

Hi Umfleet88,

In every relationship, there comes a time when things need to change for the better or for it to just dissolve. Most of the time, one party will know when this time is. There are many factors that many lead to either decision depending on the issue at hand.

IMO, you can't seriously be weighing a car vs your happiness and daughter. If you have reached a piont where you think it is time up with your hubby, let it be.
Life is too short to be miserable. When you turn 60 and look back in your life, will you be proud for living with a man for his car and be miserable? Or would you rather look back and be proud that you stood up for yourself and lived a life of happiness, healthy daughter and no car?

Honey, you can have a good home and comfort with/without your hubby. You are fortunate to have a job. If you are living a life beyond your income, you can re-adjust your life to fit your individual income and leave him (if you have reached that decision).
He should be an addition to your happiness, not a subtractor. Tell him to come to the party or ship out, cause it will drain you.

You can save towards a car, but you can't save towards happiness when you can see it is gone (it just gets worse; Trust me I have been there).

All the best!!

[dianed]

Wow, that was a trip for me. At one point that could have been me writing that (except the car part). The thing is I told him I was leaving or he was, I couldn't deal with it anymore. It wasn't worth it if this is how it is going to be. My daughter was 15. We were before so close. But then she starting acting too much the advisor than the daughter and I didn't even realize it. She disected, annylized and had an opinion about everything he did and was constantly pointing out when he did something wrong, even when it wasn't intentional. I became a critique for a while because of it. I don't think I can go into all the details of the time but wanted to let you know that after I told him I was done he wanted to talk to me seriously. Without the kids around. And I tried very, very hard to watch what was happening. When I did, sad to say, I realized she was trying to break us up. I talked to her about it. She told me she would rather us just live alone. She didn't like him, she thought he was lazy because he wasn't always rolling around wrestling, or playing ball, lots of things she knows that "good Dad's" do everyday. She couldn't stand it that he drinks beer. And she was mad at me for being with him, why did I want to be? I told her that you don't just give up on somebody, you talk about things and try to work it out. So I did. I told him some of the things that were bothering her and how she was hurt and angry and that I needed him to help me fix it. I love her more than anything. He was defensive and I'm sure hurt but he immediately started trying harder. Saying hi to her when she would walk through the door. Ask her how her day was. Fix her lunch instead of just leaving the things out on the counter for her to fix it herself. I don't know. But it is good now. I don't know if any of this is making sense, I just wanted to share. And tell you before you give up, have you tried to talk to him first or just accuse? Good luck