[Shellz]

Hey everyone,

I'm new here and I need some advice. I'm going to go back to the doctor and talk about things, but I need to get some of what I'm feeling out because I'm too upset to talk calmly with a doctor right now.

I'm 21 years old and been with my partner for 3 years. We used condoms for the first year and that was alright but it dries me out, and it makes him feel uncomfortable, so I started looking into other options.

Last winter I went in to the doctors and got some birth control pills. I had some pretty bad side effects
- I've never had acne in my life, but it caused me to have these huge cysts on my face that wouldn't go away and were very painful
- I've always been a curvy girl, but these pills made me gain 45 POUNDS. I don't see that as acceptable or healthy.
- I began having heart pain and my family has a history of heart problems so I don't want to take the heart risks BC pills have.
- There felt like there was a film of oil on all of my skin and I smelled very different and strange, didn't like that at all.

So I went in last summer to have the pills changed, I explained the problems I had and the doctors said these new pills would help with the acne and weight gain, so I tried them out.
- I didn't get the huge cysts or gain weight this time, but the side effects were WAY worse.
- I was extremely "dry" down there
- I would BLEED every time we had sex, so we couldn't have sex, and if you're not having sex, you don't need birth control anyway.
- My vagina was extremely sore and I was in pain 24 hours a day
- I had very bad kidney and back pains, they were so bad I almost had to go to the emergency room, that's when I stopped taking them.

So since summer I haven't tried any other birth control pills and just used the condoms. Every side effect I've had has since went away and I'm a much happier person. The hormones are just WAY too much for me to handle so I don't want to take any hormonal birth control EVER again. However I'm still worried about getting pregnant using just condoms, my partner doesn't like them and there's less sensation, so I want to try something else.

However, not wanting to use hormones anymore leaves me with few options.
This is all I've found.
- Fertility Awareness Methods
- Cervical Caps and Diaphragms
- Non Hormonal IUDs - Paragard
- Sterilization

At first I was leaning towards using a combination of a cervical cap with a fertility awareness method. It seems the least damaging to my health and I liked the sound of that. However the risk of pregnancy is pretty HIGH compared to other methods. I want to try it but I just don't know if I can live with that big of a risk of pregnancy. I'm not ready for a child yet and I've had a really hard life because I'm the child of two parents who were young and not ready to parent.

Then I was thinking about using the non hormonal IUD, although they are good at preventing pregnancy, I'm afraid it will damage me, cause infections, and all the other horror stories I've been hearing.

So right now I feel like I'm backed up against the wall with no options left. I just want to live a healthy life with no children yet. And with all of the bad health problems that birth control can cause, I feel scared, alone and with no options.

Can you guys help me out with advice on some options I should consider? I really need some guidance on this subject before I talk to a doctor.


Thank you,

Shellz

[viola]

How about diaphram? It has been the only obtion for me. I am against pills and hormones. to me, the diaphram was the only way for me. I recently am going to change because I have had yeast infections and want to stay away from spermacides, but other than that, it's been a great obtion for me.
Why can't you just stick to using the condom, but add a lubricant. I've looked into those and you can get really good ones, without glycerin or papa. Totally irritant free.
I was actually looking into the paragard, copper iud because my gyno recommended it for me. No hormones. I am a bit scared, and it's got mixed reviews, but I am researching it now.

[Shellz]

voila- I was considering a diaphragm, but I am concerned about the effectiveness. What are you changing to since the diaphragm didn't work for you?

We do add lubricant when we use condoms, my partner doesn't like the condoms though.

[Shellz]

I get so upset over this birth control thing I can't even think straight.

[viola]

Shellz, it worked perfect for me. I had 2 planned kids, and used it as my only birth control since I was in my 20's. I'm 50 now. So, if you use it responsibly, it will work. Many people choose not to because you can't really be spontanious, but that was the way it had to be for me. You have to go put it in before sex and that's the way it has to be. Take it out 6 or more hours later. To me, it was safe, no hormones, and was fine. You have to weigh it all out. What you want. What's the priority here, sponinatity? no hormones? no fuss? remember to take a pill? all those things. I wish I could just stay on it! I hate the condoms, it ruins everything, but will use them now until I decide further, maybe that copper IUD.

[Shellz]

Viola,

My first priority over everything is no hormones, because I can't stand feeling sick anymore.

I'm confident that I can a use female barrier method properly, and putting it in before sex and taking it out won't bother me.

The only thing holding me back from using that option is the effectiveness as I've read that it's less effective than other methods. A copper IUD seems more effective against preventing pregnancy, but I hear it has more serious health risks, that I don't know if I want to take those risks.

However hearing that it's diaphragms have worked for you for as long as it has really helps me feel better about it.

[jessie1234]

if you are looking for something long term consider an iud
i got one when i was 18 because the pill gave me a stroke - yes in a perfectly healthy non smoking active 18 year old...
i got an iud and its been great minus a few bumps with replacing it after 5 years....

[Ashlee T.]

Shellz - I can totally relate. After 10 years on the pill, and 1 year off....I find myself VERY anti-hormonal birth control. And it is frustrating because it seems there aren't many options out there. Even with the non-hormonal IUD's (copper paragard), there are just too many side effects that scream out "This is NOT good for your body!". There is ALOT to learn about Fertility Awareness Method (I just started my second month of charting) but once you get going, it's very easy. Get yourself a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. The 10th Anniv Edition comes with software free trial for 15 days where you fill in your info daily and it does the charting for you. I loved it so much I ended up paying the $40 to purchase the software at the end of my free trial. You will learn more from this book than you ever imagined and it will reassure you that you've made the best choice getting off hormonal bc.

Right now, I am using FAM and condoms. I know EXACTLY what day last month I ovulated, therefore was able to tell when I was at my most fertile. If you're really trying to avoid pregnancy, abstaining on those days is your best option. After I get the hang of this charting, I also plan to get a diaphragm. After much research, I feel it is a safer option than the cervical cap for preventing pregnancy.

As for condoms, try getting yourself a water based lube. It MUST be water based or it will destroy the condoms. Condoms do decrease the sensitivity for both the male and the female, and they do dry me out too. However, find a good water based lube (KY brand makes one) and it will help SO much.

It's time more women put their foot down about the unhealthy options given to us to prevent pregnancy. It will be women like us who create change. Get yourself that book. (You can order it online from Walmart, I had mine within 3 days, and it's less than $20). You will love it, and you'll feel so empowered and literally so much more in charge of your fertility (hence the name of the book I suppose!).

[viola]

Sheltz, true, copper IUD is probably more effective, but with more health risks. I've read mixed reviews. If I was completely healthy now, without yeast that is, I'd still be using my diaphram. Because I've had severe yeast, and don't know whether i cna keep it away, I may not use the copper IUD now.
If you use a diaphram correctly and responsibily, I highly recommend it. Most people don't want the trouble of a diaphram. But they risk other things. If used properly, it has an extremely high effeciveness. I can't quote exact numbers, but I just wish I could use it again!! Also, some people don't want to put that in themselves. Didn't bother me, I just delt with it. To me, there has been no other obtions, so I just delt with it.

[Shellz]

Doctors

I think I have enough courage now and I'm going to go to the doctors tomorrow to talk about what I should do. There are no diaphragms that are latex free, right? Because my partner is allergic. But femcaps are silicone so that might work for me. I'm thinking cervical caps are my best option.

I've almost completely ruled out the non-hormonal IUD because 1. they're very expensive and are less effective in women who haven't had children 2. they can have very harmful complications, even though they're rare and 3. it says that it will make your periods more painful/heavier, and I already have a very long, painful, heavy period as it is.

I'm going to read as much as I can about Fertility Awareness Methods and we'll probably abstain from sex all together on the fertile days until we can trust the femcap. Do any of you use a Fertility Awareness Method that I can research more?

Wish me luck, I'll let you guys know how the doctors visit goes tomorrow.

Alyshells