[tellmemore]

[sorry this is long]
Recently, I found out I was pregnant on Feb 21, March 4 sonogram told me I was 7 weeks, 1 day along. First day of my last period was Jan. 9. I opted to get a surgical abortion and had it done on March 7.
Now I'm going through my calendar to find out where I went wrong. My bf of 2 years and I have been using FAM and withdrawal with success before this. Even though I do track my fertility I rarely trusted the calendar since my cycles are somewhat erratic (anywhere from 28-48 day cycles). Generally I would allow him to ejaculate in me during my period and up to 3-4 days after my period. This time I chose to trust the calendar instead and got pregnant.
-Am I playing with fire by allowing him to come in me 3-4 after the last day of my period?
After over 2 years of tracking my period my cycles avg. 36 days. Based on that and my LMP that puts the estimated day of conception between Jan. 28-Feb 2. I also keep track of the days I have sex and there are only a handful of times I allow my bf to come inside me (he's very good at withdrawal). The dates I had sex where he may have been allowed to come inside were Jan. 19, 23, Feb 13, 16. He didn't on all of those dates but I'm rounding up just in case. Now I understand that sperm can live in the female body up to 7 days.
-Is it possible that the sperm from Jan 23rd could have lived in my body long enough to get me pregnant? I know this is all speculation but I'm making myself crazy trying to figure this out.
BC history: Due to suffering from multiple side effects I chose to not continue taking the pill. The vaginal ring was good match but I couldn't afford it on a regular basis. I'm interested in Paraguard but I'm not quite ready considering the long list of possible side effects.
Now I have a prescription for the pill but I'm not looking forward to getting back on it. My natural cycles are long and my periods are light. The pill gives me heavier periods but I want to be safer since I'm feeling pretty paranoid now.
Now that I'm going to try the pill again I want some back up since we do not use condoms. I've been reading about spermicide but don't feel very encouraged. As I understand it can be an irritant for many and because of that it can make the body more susceptible to contracting STDs.
-Do any of you use or have used spermicidal foams/creams? What was your experience? I tend to have sensitive skin in general, do think that makes me more likely to experience irritation from a spermicide?

[Claret]

Each and every time you have unprotected sex you risk becoming pregnant, Each and every time, whether or not he ejaculates inside or outside you run the risk of becoming pregnant. There is sperm in pre-cum and yes you can get pregnant from this. Yes if he ejaculates inside and you ovulate within the lifespan of the sperm - you can get pregnant. This is all each and every time you have unprotected sex.
You need to be on a permanent type of birth control, foams and creams can help but are not really effective in the long run. Condoms and spermicidal creams and foams will help but still it wouldn't be 100% safe. Condoms have been known to break, and unless put on prior to any penetrations can be as useless as the pulling out method.

[tellmemore]

I'm not debating the risk. I realize there is never a 100% guarantee. I'm asking about information on the lifespan of sperm inside the female body. I'm 29 and withdrawal has been effective method for me until I made the mistake of trusting a calendar over my body's cues. There is not a clear cut answer to whether there is in fact sperm in all men's precum (I can reference a few studies if you'd like).
My question is what are the statistics, if any, on sperms ability to survive days in the female body? As I stated before I am getting on the pill again but am wondering if a spermicidal lubricant on its own would be an effective back up to that. I understand that most people use it in conjunction with a diaphragm or condoms. Condoms are not the best option for us. My bf takes a long time to come and condoms make it near impossible. I would be raw by the time he finished.

[Claret]

Ok then, Sperm ejaculated into a woman's vagina can live in a woman's cervical mucus or upper genital tract for three to five days. Fertilization is possible as long as the sperm remain alive. Sperm ejaculated outside the body might survive in semen — the fluid released during ejaculation — up to a few hours.

Sperm can be preserved for weeks when semen is stored at a lowered temperature — or years when semen is frozen.